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sh4nksslvt · 3 days ago

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One Month With You

In the final month of your life, you cherishes fleeting moments with your crew, hiding a terminal illness until only memories—and a letter—remain.

red hair pirates x reader | whitebeard pirates x reader | strawhats x reader | ONE SHOT tags: angst, sfw, ooc, major character death, grief, terminal illness a/n: this js me trying to write ffs, this is experimental and for fun only, so expect this ffs a bit cringe and akward word count: 2.6k

masterlist | ko-fi

: 𓏲🐋 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖✩࿐࿔ 🌊

RED HAIR PIRATES

The sea was calm that morning, the kind of quiet that made even the waves seem to hold their breath. The deck of the Red Force was alive with chatter and light laughter, but you stood by the railing, letting the wind sweep through your hair. Your fingers curled around the wood, your gaze far off—not at the horizon, but somewhere past it.

One month. That’s what Hongo told you when he unknowingly confirmed your own suspicions. You’d been hiding the worsening symptoms for months—fatigue that sank deep into your bones, the relentless pain in your chest, the occasional blood you’d spit out into the sea, unnoticed.

You knew he’d figure it out eventually. He was too good not to.

But you hadn’t expected him to burst into your quarters the night before, shaking with barely restrained panic.

“What the hell is this?!” Hongo had yelled, thrusting a tattered medical report into your hands. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you say something?!”

You couldn’t meet his eyes. “Because I didn’t want to be watched like a ghost who hasn’t died yet.”

Silence. Deafening.

“...You have a month, Y/N, maybe less. You’re—” His voice cracked. “You’re dying, and you're acting like it's nothing?”

“I have a month, Hongo,” you had said quietly. “Please… just let me have it. Don’t tell the others. Let me spend it with them. Please.”

He didn't answer for a long time. When he finally did, it was with a whisper: “You’re a fucking idiot.” But he pulled you into a hug and didn’t let go until your shoulders stopped shaking.

From that day, you lived more fiercely than ever. You laughed at Shanks’ dumb jokes and drank with him until the world blurred. You challenged Benn to silent stargazing contests, betting on how many shooting stars you’d catch. You dragged Limejuice to island carnivals and flirted shamelessly until his face burned red. You played cards with Hongo, even when your hands trembled too much to hold them.

They all noticed. The Red-Haired Pirates weren’t stupid.

“You’re real clingy lately,” Limejuice teased one night, bumping your shoulder with his. “You sure you’re not sick or something?”

You smiled, heart twisting. “Would you be mad if I said I might be?”

He laughed, oblivious. “Nah. I’d carry you myself if you keeled over.”

You didn’t say anything. Just leaned into his warmth.

Shanks was the hardest. He noticed too much. Noticed how often you disappeared below deck when the coughing fits hit, how your eyes stayed on the ocean longer than they should have.

“You thinking of leaving us?” he asked once, half-joking.

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “No,” you lied.

Benn just watched. Always watched. He didn’t say much, but you could feel his eyes lingering on you, searching. You gave him your brightest smiles.

The day you left, the crew didn’t know.

You made breakfast with Chef-level effort, joking with the kitchen staff, slipping kisses to Limejuice's cheek and hugging Shanks tighter than ever. You sat with Benn for hours on the deck, your head on his shoulder, watching the sun creep across the sky.

“I think you’re my favorite,” you whispered, teasing.

He snorted. “Don’t let Shanks hear that.”

He didn’t know that was the last time he’d feel your heartbeat against his side.

That night, you slipped away. A letter for each of them tucked under your pillow. A note for Hongo too:

"Thank you—for letting me pretend I wasn’t dying. I love you all too much to say goodbye."

Morning broke in chaos.

“Where the hell is Y/N?!” Limejuice shouted, tearing through the ship.

“They’re not in the galley, or the crow’s nest!” Benn called out, panic rising in his usually calm voice.

Shanks was quiet, unusually still, staring at the empty hammock where your scent still lingered.

The notes were found soon after. One by one, hands shaking as they read your last words.

You didn’t say goodbye, but each letter bled with love.

“To Shanks — Thank you for making me feel like I belonged in the stars.”

“To Benn — You saw through me. Thank you for not saying anything.”

“To Limejuice — Thank you for reminding me how fun life could be.”

“To Hongo — I’m sorry I made you carry this alone. Thank you for letting me be selfish.”

They thought you ran. Were taken. Benn demanded a search party. Shanks was pale, silent, gripping your letter so tight his knuckles bled. Limejuice punched a wall. Hongo said nothing—for two days.

And then, he snapped.

He threw your medical file onto the table during a heated meeting, eyes wild. “They didn’t leave!....They died. And...I let them.”

The room fell to a breathless silence.

“You knew?” Benn whispered.

“They had a month. They begged me to let them spend it with us, like nothing was wrong. And I let them lie.”

Shanks stumbled back, as if struck. “No. No, they were… they were fine.”

“They were dying, Shanks! They couldn’t breathe without pain, they were—” Hongo’s voice cracked. “They spent their last strength loving us.”

No one spoke.

Limejuice fell to his knees. “We didn’t even say goodbye.”

Later that night, Shanks sat by the railing where you always stood.

“I hope you’re watching the stars from up close now, Y/N,” he murmured, tears streaking his face. “Because we’ll never stop looking for you in them.”

WHITEBEARD PIRATES

You’d always imagined dying quietly, maybe on an empty shore, wrapped in salt and wind. But fate had other plans. Your end would come not with isolation—but surrounded by laughter, drink, and the stubborn, unbearable warmth of the Whitebeard Pirates.

The diagnosis came on a cold, cloudy day—so ordinary it felt like a betrayal.

You'd passed out during training. Woke up with Marco’s worried face looming over you. He’d examined you in complete silence. But his shaking hands and tight jaw told you everything.

“It’s not good, is it?” you asked, voice barely a whisper.

“No,” Marco had said, the word cracking as it left him. “It’s... terminal. A rare degeneration of the lungs and heart. I don’t—there’s nothing I can do.”

You didn’t cry. Instead, you laughed. “So, what—you’re saying I won’t outlive my goldfish?”

He didn't laugh. He looked like he’d been stabbed. “You have a month. Maybe.”

You made him promise to keep it secret.

Just him and Whitebeard.

When Oyaji found out, he sat beside your bed and gripped your hand with those massive, shaking fingers. “You are my child,” he rumbled. “And if this is your last voyage… then let it be the greatest of your life.”

You had never cried before. But you cried then.

From that day, you threw yourself into every moment.

Ace was all fire and impulse, but when he was around you, something softer flickered beneath the surface. He took to dragging you along for sparring matches, even when you claimed your muscles ached.

“I need a challenge,” he’d smirk, sweat glistening down his neck.

“You just want to show off,” you’d tease, raising your fists anyway.

He was always careful not to hit you too hard. Not that you said anything—but he seemed to know. When you tripped one day, coughing blood into your sleeve when he wasn’t looking, he’d jogged over, helping you up without a word. His hand lingered on your arm just a second too long.

That night, you sat beside him, both of you perched on the edge of the ship with your legs dangling into the air.

“You’re weird lately,” he mumbled, eyes on the moon.

You bumped his shoulder with yours. “Just thinking how lucky I am.”

He blinked at you. “To be with us?”

“To be with you,” you said, gently. And he froze, eyes wide, like he didn’t know what to do with that.

“…You’re gonna break my heart, aren’t you?” he whispered.

You smiled, because you already had.

Izo became your confidant without even knowing it. With every eyeliner flick and matching kimono, you gave yourself permission to feel alive. They would hum as they painted your face, hands warm against your cheeks.

“You’re glowing,” they said once, adjusting the red ribbon they tied in your hair.

“Death becomes me, huh?” you joked, and they slapped your arm, scandalized.

“You joke about dying too much.”

You didn’t mean to, but your voice cracked. “It’s easier than pretending I’m not scared.”

Their fingers paused, lips parting. “…Are you scared?”

You looked at them in the mirror, the shimmer of gold powder across your eyelids catching the light. “Yeah,” you said. “But not when I’m with you.”

They smiled then, a bit sad, and leaned in to kiss your temple. “Then let’s live like hell until we drop, dear.”

Thatch was joy personified. It was impossible to be sad around him for long, and that’s what made it hurt worse.

He caught you sneaking dessert at 2 a.m. once and acted like you’d committed a crime.

“Oh-ho! So this is where my pudding went!”

“Your pudding? I thought it had my name on it.”

“I’ll accept bribes in the form of kisses or cleaning dishes.”

You kissed his cheek, and he nearly dropped the bowl.

Every stolen moment in the kitchen became a memory—dancing while covered in flour, whipped cream fights, drunken baking experiments that ended in fire. You’d laughed so hard your sides hurt, even as your lungs begged you to stop.

“You’re making memories,” he said one night, tousling your hair. “That’s what this is. You’ve been clingy lately. Like you’re trying to make every second count.”

You froze, the spoon halfway to your mouth. “…Would you hate me if I was?”

He blinked. “Nah. I’d probably try to hold on tighter.”

You didn’t tell him then. Just leaned into his side and let him talk about his dream of opening a cake café after he retires.

You knew you’d never see it.

Marco was the one who saw the cracks, and it destroyed him. You kept him close because you trusted him most—and that made it hurt more.

You caught him once crying at your door. He didn’t think you were awake.

You opened it, silently wrapped your arms around him, and whispered, “I’m still here.”

“You shouldn’t be this calm,” he rasped into your shoulder.

“I’m terrified,” you admitted. “But I’d rather spend what time I have being loved than dying slowly in a bed.”

He pulled back, staring at you with reddened eyes. “You could have told them.”

“They’d look at me like I was already dead.”

He said nothing, and you reached up to cup his cheek. “Promise me… promise you’ll wait. Let me leave on my own terms.”

“…Okay,” he whispered. “But I’ll hate you for it.”

You kissed his forehead. “I hope you do.”

You left them on a quiet morning.

Then you slipped away, leaving only a bundle of letters on Marco’s desk.

Your final message was simple:

“Don’t let them hate me for this. Please. Just let them think I ran.”

The ship erupted into panic by nightfall.

Ace punched through a wall. “They’re gone?! What do you mean GONE?”

Izo ran through the corridors, calling your name until their voice broke.

Thatch turned the kitchen inside out like he expected you to be hiding in the cupboards, laughing.

Marco couldn’t speak.

He stood at the rail, gripping the wood so hard it splintered beneath his fingers.

Whitebeard stood behind him, silent, his massive shadow cast across the deck like a shroud.

“Do I tell them?” Marco rasped.

“No,” Whitebeard rumbled. “Not yet. Let them rage. Let them mourn in their own way.”

“But—”

“They wouldn’t understand it now,” he said. “Wait.”

A week passed. Then two.

No sign of you.

Your room remained untouched. Your absence echoed louder than any cannon fire.

They scoured islands. Questioned strangers. Considered kidnappers, Marines, even betrayal.

Ace refused to accept it. “They wouldn’t leave us! Not without a word. Not without—something.”

He went to Marco, desperate. “You know something. Tell me.”

Marco finally broke.

He gave Ace your letter.

Ace read it once. Then again and again. Then crumpled to the ground, screaming into his fists.

“They died?! All this time—they were dying?!”

Marco stood frozen, guilt crawling like acid beneath his skin.

“They didn’t want you to mourn them before they were gone,” he whispered. “They wanted to be loved, not pitied.”

Ace couldn’t answer. He just sobbed, curled around your crumpled letter like it could still warm him.

That night, Whitebeard gathered his sons and daughters.

He read your letters aloud. One by one. Each one aching with truth, memory, and love.

“To Ace — You made me feel alive, even when I was already halfway gone.” “To Izo — Thank you for making me beautiful when I felt invisible.” “To Thatch — You made every day sweeter, even the ones I didn’t think I’d survive.” “To Marco — Thank you for holding my secret when it crushed you. I love you most for that.” “To Oyaji — You gave me a family when I had nothing left. Thank you… for letting me die a Whitebeard Pirate.”

By the end, the deck was silent.

No sobs. Just breathless grief.

They didn’t throw a funeral.

They held a feast.

Not because they weren’t mourning—but because they knew you’d hate to see them broken.

They told stories. Passed your favorite drink around. Laughed, cried, and danced with ghosts.

And when the fire died down, Ace stared at the embers and whispered, “I hope you found peace, flame-heart.”

STRAWHAT PIRATES

You didn’t plan on dying at sea, but the Grand Line has a way of making plans for you. The first signs were subtle: a lingering fatigue you chalked up to busy days, aches you blamed on training, the dull pain in your side that you laughed off when Chopper asked if you were okay.

You knew before he did. Deep down, your body had been whispering the truth long before the words made it onto paper.

It wasn’t until you collapsed in the hallway between the kitchen and the infirmary that Chopper realized something was seriously wrong. When you woke up, it was to the sterile smell of the medical bay and his wide, terrified eyes.

“I ran every test,” he said, voice trembling. “And then I ran them again. It’s… it’s bad. Really bad.”

You nodded. Your throat was too dry to answer.

“I—I can’t fix it. Not with what we have on board. Maybe if we got to a major medical port, but even then, I don’t know if—”

You reached out, resting a hand on his tiny shoulder. “How long?”

He hesitated, ears flattening. “A month. Maybe.”

You didn’t cry. Not then. Not even when he begged to tell the others.

“No. Please. Let me have this. Just a month, Chopper.”

“They’ll never forgive me.”

“They will,” you said. “If they knew now, it’d ruin everything. I don’t want pity. I want memories.”

So you began to live. Fully, recklessly, as if the pain eating away at you was just a shadow at your back.

You started with Sanji. He was the easiest to be around, the one whose affection was loud and constant. Every meal became a moment: you insisted on helping in the kitchen, even when he protested. You chopped vegetables until your hands hurt, stirred sauces while leaning against him, snuck little bites when he wasn’t looking.

“You’re here a lot lately,” he said one afternoon, handing you a bowl of soup.

“I like watching you work,” you replied.

He grinned. “You trying to steal my heart, love?”

You leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Maybe.”

He went quiet for a beat. Then, more softly, “You look at me like you’re memorizing my face.”

You didn’t answer. Just smiled.

Zoro came next. You sparred with him almost every day now, ignoring the way your lungs burned, the way your legs shook. He didn’t say anything the first time you collapsed mid-match, just silently carried you to the infirmary.

“You’re pushing too hard,” he said.

“I need to,” you whispered.

“Why?”

You looked at him, really looked. “Because I don’t want to forget what it feels like to fight beside you.”

He frowned. “You’re acting like you’re running out of time.”

You forced a smile. “Aren’t we all?”

That night, he found you on the deck, staring at the stars.

He sat beside you, arms crossed. “You’re not saying something. I don’t like it.”

“I’m just tired.”

“I’d carry you, if you asked.”

Your heart ached. “I know.”

Luffy was harder.

He didn’t notice at first. You were careful around him—too careful. You laughed with him during meals, ran across islands with him, challenged him to stupid games on the deck. But he began to notice the way you lingered during hugs. The way you stared at him too long. The way your smiles didn’t quite reach your eyes.

One evening, you lay beside him on the figurehead, watching the horizon.

He turned his head toward you. “Are you gonna leave?”

You blinked. “What?”

“You look like you’re saying goodbye.”

You looked away. “I’m not. Not yet.”

He was quiet for a while. “I don’t want you to go.”

“I don’t want to either.”

He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and didn’t let go until you both fell asleep.

ou made time for everyone else too.

With Nami, you spent lazy afternoons in the library, pretending to study charts. She taught you how to draw maps. You traced the oceans of the world with your fingers and imagined places you’d never see.

“You’re getting good at this,” she said.

“I want to leave something behind,” you murmured.

She didn’t understand then. But she would.

Usopp was a light in the dark. You asked for bedtime stories, exaggerated tales of heroism and romance. He performed them with full sound effects, arms flailing, voice booming.

“You always laugh now,” he noted one night.

“It’s easy, when I’m with you.”

He blushed, scratching the back of his head. “You’re acting like I’m the best part of your day.”

You smiled. “You are.”

Robin gave you quiet comfort. She didn’t ask questions. She simply read to you, let you rest your head in her lap, brushed your hair back from your face.

“You’re calm,” you told her.

“You’re storming,” she replied.

You didn’t deny it.

Franky built you a swing on the back of the Sunny, facing the sea. You spent hours there, feet brushing over the waves, eyes on the endless blue.

“Super chill, right?” he said, adjusting the ropes.

You nodded. “It’s perfect.”

He caught your hand before he left. “You’re not okay.”

You looked up at him. “No.”

“Okay,” he said, voice tight. “You don’t have to be.”

Brook played lullabies for you. Sweet, simple things. You danced with him once, slow and clumsy.

“If I still had a heart,” he said softly, “I think it would ache.”

You rested your head against his chest. “Mine already does.”

Chopper was breaking. Every day, he looked at you like you were already fading. You caught him crying in the storage room once, holding one of your jackets.

“I can’t do this,” he whispered.

“You’re stronger than me,” you said, hugging him.

“I hate lying.”

“I know.”

You waited until they docked at a small island for supplies.

You left at dawn.

Left behind the stargazer chair. The flowered book. The slingshot. The meals. The love.

Left behind a stack of letters in Chopper’s room.

When the crew realized you were gone, Luffy panicked first.

“They wouldn’t leave! They’d never leave!”

Zoro was already on the dock, scanning the shoreline. Sanji lit a cigarette with shaking fingers.

They searched the island. They waited at the ship. They called for you until their voices cracked.

You didn’t come back.

That night, Chopper gathered them in the infirmary.

“I didn’t want to break the promise,” he said, voice trembling. “But… they’re gone. They were dying.”

No one moved.

“…What?”

“They only had a month. They asked me to let them live… without pity.”

Nami burst into tears. "They should’ve told us,”

Zoro punched the wall.

Luffy stood in stunned silence, until he screamed your name into the ocean wind.

They read your letters together. All huddled in the infirmary, hearts shattered.

“To Sanji — You made me feel wanted, even when I felt like a ghost.” “To Zoro — You were my anchor. I always knew where I stood when I was beside you.” “To Luffy — Thank you for being the sun. I needed the light more than you’ll ever know.” “To the Crew — You made me part of a family. You made me more than a dying story.”

They held a quiet vigil on the deck.

Brook played your song one last time. Robin scattered petals into the sea. Chopper lit a lantern and let it drift across the water.

They stayed on that island for days.

Then, they sailed forward—quieter, heavier—but with your memory in their hearts.

You were their nakama.

You were their heart.

You always would be.

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thewritingfairy · 2 days ago

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↪ 09. Oh no!

PREV PART Trigger warning: (past, current) mental + physical + emotional neglect, (name) pretends everything is fine, talking down of oneself, Reader isn't out towards the batfamily yet, mental gymnastics, disabilties are finally talked about, guilt, I think this is my longest chapter yet, pls tell me if I missed any warnings main m.list series m.list

When you woke up your body felt sluggish as you try to remember what happened, you must have a fever, why else would Alfred be at your bedside sleeping. Seeing him there reminds you of the times your heart ached for his comfort, for the times you wished he would finally stand up for you. But he didn’t, he never takes your side.

Their reaction to you passing out must’ve been extreme, because the moment you tried to manoeuvre past Alfred Dick was there, standing in front of your door with a panicked expression. “You shouldn’t get out of bed,” he says with an attempted smile. It just makes you narrow your eyes and spitefully stand up. You ignore how the room spins and how your pain spreads to your neck and fingertips. It’s almost as if Dick can sense your discomfort (it would be a first) because the moment you lose your balance he’s there to keep you standing straight. “you really are stubborn.”

His words weren’t meant to make you flinch, but they still did. You don’t trust him, and you might never, anything negative from him puts you on edge (even if his statement is true). You never know how any of your siblings will react, and quite frankly you always found Dick the most difficult from all of your siblings. Impossible to read and always wearing that fake smile, he always used that smile when he interacted with you, keeping his real smiles for his true family. “Don’t touch me,” you hiss, raising your voice enough to wake Alfred up and enough for Dick to step back.

“(name),” he whispers as he moves towards you, checking your temperature with his hand not allowing you to flinch away from him. “Good, no fever….” Yet your eyes look anywhere but at his.

“Now that you’ve done the bare minimum to keep yourselves from wallowing in guilt,” you start, ignoring how Alfred’s face falls, how Dick’s breath becomes ragged and uneven. “I want you both to leave, I need to change for school.”

“You don’t seriously think you are going to school,” Dick says as his eyebrows furrow, his arm crossed on his chest. “not after passing out like that.”

You laugh, you couldn’t help it. Now they want to care for your health. “Didn’t you guys not send me to a hospital after I was viciously beaten and possibly had internal bleeding?” you shot back, and finally they look guilty. Their guilty faces and nervous ticks make you smile, finally you feel heard. “I pass out quite often, especially since then, I am going to school so get out, I’m going to be late.”

“At least let me drop you off,” Dick says before Alfred can protests. “it would make sense, Damian’s classes are in one of your school buildings today.”

You laugh. “Oh, he doesn’t want to be seen with me. Don’t you know?” But when you see Alfred’s nails digging in his palm you start to feel guilty. Perhaps Jason’s right and you are being a piece of shit. “But fine, I suppose, just get out I need to do my hair and put my uniform on.”

They listen, but once you close your door Alfred and Dick stare at each other. Having a conversation with each other with just their eyes. You are hiding something about your health, and they’ll force to the doctor if they must. “I’ll brief Damian of the plan,” Dick tells Alfred. “I’ll try to get more information out of them.”

Alfred nods and sighs; “Duke has been helpful but evasive, but it’s clear he doesn’t trust us.”

Dick nods, and he can’t help but think; ‘Who would? If they knew what we did?’

“He’s honouring (Name)’s autonomy,” Dick acknowledges as he brushed his hair back with his hands. “more then we have ever done…”

Awh, the poor bats are becoming self-aware, and guilt is weighing heavy. Too bad that it isn’t enough to compensate for your pain.

You, who had quickly done your hair (honestly you tried, it looks terrible but it is too much for you to handle right now, so it’s alright) and put on your uniform, was now in the kitchen, grabbing a quick bite to eat and make some lunch. It was important to nourish your body after such a health incident. You need to take care of yourself, alright? Otherwise Maria and Duke would absolutely hound you on this. You just wish Cassandra wasn’t here, analysing your every move. “You’re in pain,” she says simply. “you have been for a while.”

“Wow,” you say without thinking, looking over your shoulder slightly amused. “you’ve only noticed now?”

“I’m not talking about mental pain,” she says, and that makes you freeze, dropping your lunch box in your bag and you couldn’t be more glad about getting one with an extra safety lock. “you are ill.” You chuckle, you couldn’t believe it. Cassandra knows, and she has known for a while. “Is it because of Jason?”

You turn around as you place your back on the counter. “What has Duke told you?” you aren’t angry with him, no, whatever he told them, it doesn’t matter. He’s just trying to help. “Or is that just a small personal theory?”

“A theory, Duke has been evasive with his answers,” she admits, her eyes narrowing as she tries to read your body language. But it comes up the same as always, on edge, in pain and angry. “said that he wouldn’t break his future sister’s trust.”

“Huh, so Brucie is adopting him,” you comment.

“But he has told us the full story about what Jason did,” Stephanie says, coming into the room pretending as if she hasn’t been eavesdropping from the moment she realised Cassandra was trying to get answers out of you. “I’m sorry, if I knew-”

You scoff, cutting off her sentences. Your eyes watering, you always wanted acknowledgement of what happened. You wanted these girls to tell you what your family did was wrong. But it’s too late now, and Cassandra could read that. She could see your shoulders tense, biting your lip as you try and keep your breathing steady. You feel unsafe, and she wonders if she didn’t ignore your pain. If she realised the damage they were doing to you, would you be happier? Would you be healthier?

Oh, having a moral compass can be quite difficult, can’t it?

“I don’t want none of your apologies,” you tell them, your eyes look dull and they feel lifeless. Something Stephanie often saw with the victims her father created. Is she just as bad as her father? At this point she would say to a degree. And if you will allow her to, she’ll do anything to make it right. But there is no time for that, Dick is here to drive you to school. “and our conversation is done, Cassandra, be sure to keep your mouth shut.”

While Stephanie hasn’t heard the whole conversation you two had (and could you really call it a conversation?) Cassandra obviously asked something about your health. Something that you have hidden from them all, even legally.

Well illegally, seriously, how did you perfect replicating Bruce’s signature? Even Tim couldn’t replicate it to that degree, if he were to compare your falsified signature with one of Bruce’s actual signatures it barely has any differences (Barbara would love to learn from you). The ink only looks thicker on your falsified one, Bruce always kept his pen-strokes light and precise.

But there is no time to ponder about that right now, they need to focus on you actually getting into Dick’s care. He bugged it with one of his earpieces so that the bat-family could analyse you interacting with Dick and Damian. The two you always interacted with the most before Jason’s attack, but even that was limited.

When you got into the car, you notice how Damian was sulking. Something you’ve never seen him do, besides that one time that Bruce scolded him loud enough that you could hear him from your room. You ignore him and buckle yourself in, joining him on the backseat. “Don’t you want to sit in the front seat?” Damian asks confused, and you shake your head. No way in hell are you sitting next to Dick.

“I don’t like the passenger seat.” Liar, liar pants on fire~!

Damian’s eyes narrow and scratches the skin under his nail. ‘huh,’ you think, absentmindedly. ‘we have similar anxiety ticks.’

With that Dick drives away, trying to build up a conversation. But truly, you couldn’t give a shit. You’re texting with Duke, you have chemistry the first hour, and you want to make sure that he knows that you don’t blame him for letting Bruce adopt him and such. That you just hope that he would keep your back and stay close to you when he joins the family.

Truly, aren’t you embarrassed by this? How insecure can you be?

‘Ofc, I won’t! I swear I’ll explain everything once B signs the papers. Thank you for not being mad :)’ The text makes you smile, once Duke swears something, he keeps that promise. He’s more trustworthy than your mother, she always had her fair share of secrets.

‘I could never be mad at my favourite brother, and you didn’t out me so that makes me not being mad a lot easier /hj’ you sent back before closing your phone, closing your eyes in as you feel stress leaving your body. You’re excited to see him again, you can’t wait to tell your friends about Duke joining your family. It would make your time left there a lot more bearable.

The thought of not being alone withyour ‘family’ anymore made your frown disappear. But it returned the moment you got closer to school. “Drop me off here,” you say, ignoring how Damian’s hand itches. Clearly wanting to grab your uniform jacket. “my friends are waiting for me.”

Dick nods, knowing he shouldn’t push you. You’ll just shut down even more, and it would become even more difficult to re-connect connect with you. He could feel bile rise in his throat the longer he thought about what he has done, about the behaviour he has been complicate in. Oh, but how can he make you see that it was all for the best? How can he make himself see that it was all for the best?

He can’t, he should be on his knees begging for your forgiveness, but he knew that it wouldn’t be enough. He just doesn’t know what to do.

He doesn’t know where he went wrong.

“That was a disaster,” Damian says when he can see you running up to your friends. Dick sighs, but he agrees. Damian knows it, he can see the disappointment on his older brother’s face, it makes him angry at you. But at the same time, why was he angry at you for their behaviour? Why did he give up your love for Jason when he was clearly in the wrong? Is it because of his time in the league, or is there still hatred in his body for you just simply existing?

Oh, what can the bat-family do when all they’ve done is estrange themselves from you? Can they redeem themselves, or will Duke take their place? Will your friends take their place besides your side?

With Duke you would still be apart of their family, but if you were to estrange yourself further from them, go no-contact and acknowledge your friends as your family and only allow Duke in your life they would have no excuse to try and make you understand their side. To try and get you to forgive them.

Because if they right their wrongs, you’ll have to love them. Right?

NEXT PART well, I am using this chapter as a distraction, my grandpa is getting better already tho! And I'm allowed to visit soon, so he's out of any danger zones, if you have any feedback do tell me. I have too many ideas of how to transition to the full yandere part and my brain needs to slow down fr.

taglist: @prettiest-thing-in-the-morgue, @bunniotomia, @devotedlyshamelessdetective, @princessbonnie-bell, @seemee3, @pix-stuff, @venomsvl, @amber-content, @stove-top96, @frank-vanderboom, @leeiasure, @1abi, @shadowytravelerlover, @chericia, @lithiumval, @lingxio, @cssammyyarts, @marsmabe, @foolishseven, @kore-of-the-underworld, @bunbunboysworld, @homeless-clown, @miashico, @alwaysholymilkshake, @1cxndy, @kittzu, @rtyuy1346, @exactlynumberonekryptonite, @hopingtoclearmedschool, @artistwithcreativeburnout, @alishii, @vanessa-boo, @holylonelyponyeatingmacaroni, @91-kya, @ryuushou, @jjsmeowthie, @justthere1956, @depressed--therapist, @xzmickeyzx, @cheappremingerfromdelululand, @plsfckmedxddy, @itsberrydreemurstuff, @trashlaternfish360, @leogf, @dirtydiavolo, @lilyalone, @welpthisisboring, @kenman00001, @nxdxsworld, @icefox8155, @ironsaladwitch, @holderoflostmemories, @asillysimp, @wisefuncherryblossom, @eyeless-kun, @marina27826, @muggleloveralways, @ironsaladwitch, @shyenemyperson, @iamaunknownsecret

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sativariddle · 3 days ago

Text

CHECK YOUR WINDOW ₊˚⊹ ᰔ

⌗ ┆ word count: 10k+

⌗ ┆content: perv!theo, boyfriend!mattheo, cheating & betrayal, strong language, heavy sexual content. if you don’t enjoy my content, there’s no need for you to stick around, i’m not responsible for what you choose to engage with. for @pilupotter ᰔ

⌗ ┆ summary: check your window, he’s at your window: caught in the mess between jealousy and obsession, theo begins to have a crush on the one person he knows he can never touch: his best friend’s girlfriend. but everything changes the night he sees you with mattheo through the window, a view he was never meant to witness.

♫ — ❝ check your window, he’s at your window. ❞

╰› navigation.⌇m.list.⌇my au’s .⌇other song lol.

THEO HAD NEVER KNOWN the ugly emotion of jealousy. it was an unfamiliar feeling to someone like him, one that belonged to other boys, boys who had to fight for attention, compete for power. jealousy, after all, only creeps in when you see something you want but believe you’ll never have. that had never been theo’s reality.

from the moment he could speak, if he pointed at a toy in a shop window, his father’s gold handled it before he even asked. if he admired a rare piece of jewelry in passing, it was in his room by nightfall. no explanations. possession had never been a question, it was an expectation. even people, in their own strange way, came to him. at school, if he decided he wanted someone’s company, it was only a matter of time. he never pleaded, never played the fool to earn friendship. he watched, waited, and the chosen eventually fell into his circle. whether from fear, or fascination, it didn’t matter. they came.

his father had shaped him this way. the elder nott would speak in a tone that meant more to theo than a shout. “there’s a difference between being loved and being feared,” he told theo once, as they stood in the drawing room. “when people hear the nott name, they do not smile. they do not speak it softly. they whisper it. that is power. power isn’t loved. it is obeyed.”

theo was like a cloth wiping down a table: soaking up everything his father said, holding onto it all until the next time he needed it.

so no, jealousy had no place in his chest. not when he’d been raised not to envy, but to expect. not when the world had always shown him that if he desired something, it would eventually belong to him.

mattheo was the only one who didn’t fear theodore, his closest friend, most would say. even back when they were in school, people used to joke they were glued at the hip. they told each other everything. from the girls they slept with, in detail, to family stuff. nothing was off limits.

when mattheo got kicked out of his father’s manor and showed up at the nott’ manor asking for a place to crash, no one was surprised when theo’s father said yes. the place had plenty of guest rooms, and mattheo had always been like a second son to the old man. leaving him homeless on the street would’ve been unthinkable.

"helloooo, girl next door,” mattheo whistled under his breath, leaning forward slightly as he peered out of the window. theo was scrambling through the mess on his desk, trying to find a quill beneath piles of parchment and books. at the sound of mattheo’s voice, he paused, head snapping up. with a furrowed brow, theo walked over and came to stand beside his friend. his gaze followed mattheo’s, settling on the window that overlooked the neighboring manor. it sat a little further out, though one window in particular caught their attention.

directly across from theodore’s was your room. your light was on, the sky outside had already started to darken into deep blues and purples. from where they stood, they could see just enough: the curve of your shoulder as you walked past, the way your curtains shifted with the breeze. "oh yeah," theo muttered, looking away. "the new neighbor my father was talking about." watching someone through their bedroom window, even unintentionally, felt intrusive to theo.

“didn’t think to tell me?” mattheo asked, he watched you move around your bedroom, opening boxes, pulling out books and folded clothes. your hair slipped over your shoulder as you bent forward, revealing the line of your bare neck. “sorry,” theo sarcastically replied from beside him, arms crossed loosely over his chest. “didn’t think you’d care about us getting a new neighbor.”

“i didn’t.” mattheo tilted his head, shifting a little closer to the glass. “now i do.”

you had no idea you were being watched, placing a few things on the windowsill before turning toward the bed, where a white towel was laid out. mattheo’s gaze followed your hands as they reached for the hem of your shirt, lifting it slowly, inch by inch. you were probably getting ready for a shower.

a cold water bottle came flying through the air, smacking mattheo square in the cheek. “stop watchin’ the girl, will you?” theodore snapped. “you look like a fuckin’ creep.” mattheo flinched only slightly, caught off guard, then turned his head slowly, the corner of his mouth curling into that annoying smirk. he rubbed the side of his face where the bottle had hit but didn’t look the least bit remorseful.

“jealous?” he drawled, cocking a brow. theo didn’t answer right away. he turned back to his desk, sifting through the mess like he hadn’t heard the question. a few crumpled pieces of parchment were swept into his hand and tossed into the nearby bin. “you’re still the love of my life, theo,” mattheo added, leaning back against the window frame. “there’s no need to be jealous.”

theodore let out a dry snort, not even turning around as he casually flipped him the middle finger. “and if she catches you staring at her while she’s taking off her shirt?” theodore said, looking over his shoulder. “might as well tattoo ‘pervert’ on your fuckin’ forehead and let the whole neighborhood know.” mattheo just shrugged, biting the inside of his cheek as he glanced once more toward the window.

“don’t know,” he said. “some girls love that shit.” theodore exhaled sharply through his nose. he was done. done trying to reason with a walking hormone in human form. “get to bed,” he muttered, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “you’re speaking with your dick again.”

mattheo chuckled, stepping closer to theo and giving him a playful shove to the chest. it wasn’t hard, more of a nudge, but it earned a shove right back.

that shove earned mattheo’s full attention: a harsh push to theodore’s shoulder that made him stumble back a step. without hesitation, theo shoved him again, harder this time. mattheo huffed. he’d always been a sucker for a good play fight, the kind that started as a joke but never stayed that way for too long. and the second theodore turned his back to brush him off, mattheo lunged.

he tackled him around the middle, dragging him down to the floor. the impact sent theodore crashing onto the floor with a thud, his back hitting the wooden floor beneath it as a grunt escaped his chest. “you fucker-” theodore cracked, trying to twist out from under him. but mattheo was already trying to pin him, arms locked around theodore’s shoulders.

in the fight, theo shoved at mattheo’s head with one palm, trying to push him off. his fingers caught the side of mattheo’s head, forcing him sideways — too far. the motion sent mattheo’s skull colliding with the edge of the desk beside them.

“asshole,” mattheo muttered under his breath, he rubbed the spot where his head had hit the desk, slowly pushing himself up before giving theodore a light kick in the ribs with the toe of his shoe before disappearing out the door with a dramatic slam that rattled the frame.

theo rolled his blue eyes and stood up. mattheo had been living at the nott manor for nearly six months now, but he still spent more time in theodore’s room than his own. no matter how many guest rooms the home had, he always ended up across theo’s bed, in his desk chair, or raiding his bookshelf.

theo thinks it’s because his room has always felt more like home than anywhere else. when they were kids, they rarely hung out in the guest rooms. those spaces were too too quiet, meant for people who didn’t stay. theo’s had history. it had laughter ghosting into the walls, secrets in the closet. back then, when life felt fresh, before things got complicated, before people started drifting: they all used to cram into his room without a second thought.

pansy would sprawl across his bed, flipping through magazines and rolling her eyes at draco’s ‘girly’ commentary. blaise would sit on the floor, leaning against the dresser, legs stretched out. enzo always found the window seat, sketchbook in hand, not listening to the talk around him.

mattheo was everywhere. on the bed, on the floor, by the door. moving constantly: he was trying to soak in every second of it. theo’s room held their shared growth. the jokes, the fights, the long talks that happened when the lights were out and no one wanted to be the first to fall asleep. even now, theo can still hear the echoes of it when he steps inside. maybe that’s why he feels more at peace there than anywhere else: a place with the memory of his happiest days, when they were all together.

theodore walked over to the window, and reached for the curtains, he hated sleeping with them open. the way outside lights bled into his room always messed with his sleep, casting odd shapes on the walls and waking him up at stupid hours.

just as he grabbed the fabric, something caught his eye. you had just stepped out of the shower, the steam still curling around you. a towel was slung loosely around your body, clinging to your damp skin, the fabric darkened in places where water still kissed your flesh. your hair was wet, heavy with moisture, dark strands sticking to your shoulders and framing your face.

theodore paused the moment he saw you. he watched, completely helpless as a bead of water traced a slow path down the slope of your collarbone, disappearing beneath the edge of your towel.

he swallowed, feeling the back of his throat burn, blinking twice as if to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. every instinct in him choosing between looking away out of respect and drinking in the sight of you: wrapped in nothing but a bit of fabric.

the towel slipped from your body, falling to the floor soundlessly. theo’s breath hitched the second the fabric fell, revealing every inch of your bare skin. his lips parted without him realizing, gaze caught immediately on your breasts: perfectly perky—and pierced. the silver flash of the jewelry against your skin made his head spin.

he should’ve looked away. fuck, he knew that. he should’ve snapped the curtains shut the moment he saw you walk in, dripping wet from your shower, towel barely clinging to you. he should’ve thrown himself into bed, buried his head under the covers, forced himself to pretend he hadn’t seen anything.

you didn’t bother getting dressed. still naked, you crossed the room without a hint of shame, water on your skin as if you were dipped in moonlight. with a small hop, you climbed onto your bed, body completely exposed from where theodore stood frozen by his window. he watched you move, comfortable in your own skin. the way you shifted around on the mattress, adjusting your pillows, tossing them this way and that way without a care in the world. you were putting on a show without even realizing it, every twist of your hips, every stretch of your arms offering him a new angle to memorize, to burn into the back of his eyelids forever.

once you finally settled, your back sank into the sheets, muscles relaxing into the mattress. the soft cloth cradled you, hugging every dip and curve. theo’s chest rose and fell unevenly, unable to look away as your pierced nipples stood tight and hard, pointing up toward the ceiling. the silver jewelry small and beautiful on you.

you trailed your right hand down, fingertips dancing lazily over your breast, nails scratching slightly across the sensitive skin. lower and lower you went, dragging those fingers over the smooth, freshly shaved skin of your lower stomach, your body arching just slightly into your own touch.

he could see everything: the way your breathing deepened, the way your thighs shifted apart the ever so slightest, welcoming yourself home. with a roll of your wrist, you dipped your hand even lower, your index finger brushing gently over the swollen mound of your clit.

theo couldn’t move, couldn’t even think as he watched you spread yourself out across the bed, knees bent and falling open, giving him a full view of everything. your skin practically glowed, a leftover dampness still clinging to your body. your fingers, those delicate fingers moved lazy strokes over your clit. his stomach tightened painfully, a low heat coiling in his gut. he watched as you dragged the tip of your finger in circles, the movement so soft it was almost teasing yourself, building your own tension.

you tilted your head back slightly, letting your teeth sink into your bottom lip. he didn’t know if you were trying to muffle your sounds or if it was some subconscious need to savor the pressure, but either way, it didn’t matter. all thoughts that made sense abandoned in favor of the desperate need flooding his body.

everything he was feeling, every throb of want, every spike of lust, every dizzying pull toward you seemed to rush straight down to his dick, swelling painfully against his sweats. you moved, hips rolling up into your own touch, adding more pressure. with the kind of slowwww that made theodore’s vision blur at the edges, you pushed a finger deep inside yourself. “mmph…”

the sound you made punched the air right out of theodore’s lungs. it wasn’t loud, but it didn’t need to be. whether you had meant it to be heard or not, it banged through him, making his entire body clench and his cock harden so fast it hurt. he squeezed his eyes shut for half a second, trying and failing to gather himself. but the second he opened them again, you rewarded him with an even filthier sight.

another finger joined the first, stretching you wider, making your hips rock slightly against your hand. you moved them in and out, out and in, fingers disappearing into the heat of your pussy, coated in the evidence of your own wetness. theo’s ears were ringing, too consumed by the sight of your hand moving, of your body writhing slightly against the sheets, of your thighs trembling as you fucked yourself open.

your eyebrows pulled together, forehead creasing in that beautiful, desperate way as your pleasure built. gasping sounds slipping free without a hint of restraint. the movements of your fingers grew faster, your hips subtly chasing every stroke, your thighs trembling with the effort to stay open. theodore’s eyes devoured you. every detail. every breath.

he noticed everything: the way your right breast, slightly pressed to the side by the movement of your arm, causing the piercing threaded through your nipple to poke out at a perfect angle. theo felt a an aching need crash through him, a hunger to have it between his teeth, to feel the cold shock of metal against his hot tongue, to suck and tug and soothe until you were gasping even harder beneath him.

his hand gripped the windowsill so tightly his knuckles turned white. he stared hard, breath fogging up the small corner of glass before him, matching the uneven, shuddering breathing of yours. every squeaky whimper, every hitch of your hips, every sound of your fingers plunging deep into your own body buried itself into his mind.

you came with a cry, legs quaking around your hand. your face softened in the aftermath, a look of pure bliss taking over your beautiful features: lips parted, lashes fluttering against flushed cheeks.

with a violent jerk, theo closed the blinds, the snap of the cord sounding too loud in the silence of his room. he stumbled back a step, chest heaving, staring down in disbelief at the painful boner against his sweats. he dragged a shaking hand through his hair, cursing under his breath. he felt like a damn teenager again, seeing boobs for the first time on a crumpled magazine page he wasn’t supposed to have.

“you think she’d like this?” mattheo asked, holding the dress up between his fingers. he rubbed the fabric between his thumb and forefinger, raising an eyebrow. “she’s always fuckin’ talking about wanting dresses with this kind of fabric. all soft and shit.”

it had become a routine, one theo never spoke about, even to himself. every day, he found his feet carrying him to the same spot: the window in the far corner of his room, the one that offered a perfect view into yours. from there, he could see you through the soft cover of curtains that you always forget, or maybe just didn’t care, to close.

most days, you were alone. reading, usually. sometimes curled on your side with a blanket pulled up to your waist, the bedside lamp illuminating your face. other times, you were cross legged in the center of your bed, a book propped open against your knees, mouthing the words silently as your fingers absentmindedly traced the dog eared page corners. sometimes, you’d bring a friend over, usually a girl with a laugh too loud. you’d lounge across your bed together, heads bent over the edge of your bed, your body loose with comfort.

theodore would watch. you’d become his obsession without even trying. he told himself it was nothing. that it would pass. that if he just kept watching from afar, the pull in his chest would ease. but it never did.

what made it so much fucking worse, what twisted the blade in deeper, was the guilt. not just the guilt of watching you when he shouldn’t have, but the guilt that grew the day he saw you kiss someone else. the day he realized it wasn’t just someone.

it was mattheo. theo hadn’t known. not even a hint. mattheo told him everything, or so he thought. they’d been friends for years, bonded by too many fights and drunken nights and secrets they weren’t proud of. every hookup. every fling. every girl who’d passed through mattheo’s bed had been a joke, something to laugh about the next morning.

not this time. theodore had been standing at the window like he always did, eyes drifting toward your room. you were sitting cross legged on your bed, a paperback open in your lap, your hair loose and slightly messy like you’d just woken from a nap. you were turning a page when the door to your room opened, and theodore’s heart gave a confused lurch: mattheo stepped in. like it was normal. like it was his place to be.

theo had watched, body frozen except for the slow tightening in his jaw. mattheo didn’t say anything. as if he didn’t need to. he just crossed the room with that confidence he always carried, tossed his hoodie on the chair by your desk, and leaned down. as if this was a routine, pressing his mouth to yours in a kiss that was far too comfortable. your hands slid up into his hair and kissed him back, like you’d done it a hundred times before.

theo just stood there, staring with furrowed brows. the silence of his room made everything worse, the way your lips moved, the curve of your smile against mattheo’s mouth. he watched as his best friend slid his hands beneath the hem of your shirt, slowly pushing the fabric upward, revealing the bare of your waist, the lump of your breasts, the metal piercings theodore had spent countless nights dreaming about tasting with his own tongue.

and when mattheo came back from your house that night, theodore couldn’t stop himself from prying. working around the edges of the conversation like trying to defuse a bomb without knowing which wire to cut, asking the kind of casual questions that wouldn’t make him seem desperate to know.

eventually, however, mattheo cracked. laughing under his breath, running a hand through his curls: told theo that the two of you had been sneaking around together for about five weeks now, slipping in and out of each other’s beds, pretending the fire between you wasn’t setting blaze to everything it touched. and just like fuckin’ that, theodore felt stupid.

he sat there, nodding along like an idiot, pretending to find it funny, pretending he wasn’t shattering apart piece by piece inside. because all those nights he’d been standing at his window, staring at you like some fool, you’d already been his. mattheo’s hands had already mapped the curves theo could only dream about touching; his mouth had already tasted the skin theo ached to claim.

of course. of course that was why your curtains were drawn most nights now, blocking theo out.

regardless, even after theo found out you were dating mattheo, the acknowledgment hadn’t been enough to pry him away from that damn window. it should’ve been. god, it should’ve been. but how could he stop? you were still there, every day, existing just on the other side of the glass. gorgeous. the thought that you belonged to someone else now, that you were mattheo’s, should’ve made it feel wrong. and it did. it absolutely did. but that shame came with something addictive. the twisted thrill of watching something he could never have, of seeing you laugh or stretch or curl beneath your sheets in the early morning, knowing you were his best friend’s girl.

“no clue. you’re the boyfriend,” theo muttered, eyes scanning the hang of a sundress mattheo had plucked from a display rack in some dress shop. a pale blue thing, the kind of dress that would fall just below your thighs and hug your waist. theodore didn’t want to picture you in it, but of course, he did. he could already see it: you standing barefoot in your bedroom, spinning just slightly in front of the mirror, fingertips brushing down the fabric. or worse—he imagined it sliding down your shoulders, puddling around your ankles as mattheo stepped toward you with that smirk he wore when he knew he was about to get lucky.

“have to get it for her,” riddle said, holding the dress up. “she’d look fuckin’ amazing.”

theo stayed quiet. watched as mattheo strutted up to the front desk, tossing the dress gently onto the counter. the woman behind the register gave a soft smile, eyes flicking up to riddle. theo could make out the exchange from a few steps back, hearing the cashier ask, “for your girl?” with a teasing smile. mattheo’s curls bounced as he nodded and said something that made her giggle. some stupid line, no doubt.

theodore had never been the jealous type. anything he wanted, he got, usually without even having to ask. but people always want what they can’t have. and theodore wanted you. wanted you soooo badly in a way that ate at the open places inside him he hadn’t even realized were empty.

mattheo strolled back, confidence in every step, a small black bag dangling effortlessly off his ring finger like it weighed nothing, catching on the silver rings he always wore. his grin was all teeth. “let’s go,” he said, tilting his head toward the street. theo didn’t trust himself to speak, not when his head was a hurricane of thoughts that had no business being there. he kept his hands shoved in his pockets, eyes on the ground, his jaw tight as he tried to walk off the jealousy clawing at his ribs. it was stupid, he knew.

by the time they reached home, the sky was a shade of indigo. theo didn’t wait around — the front door had barely clicked shut behind them when he was already climbing the stairs two at a time, footsteps heavy on the wood. he didn’t even glance back.

mattheo didn’t follow. turning on his heel and heading right back out the door, toward your place. theo caught it from the top of the stairs: the quick jingle of keys, the door creaking open again, the soft click as it closed behind him. theo stood there, hand still on the banister, lips parted like he might call out — tell him to wait, to stay, to go fuck himself. but nothing came out. what was he going to say anyway? don’t go see her? mattheo would’ve just laughed. that cocky laugh that always made theo feel two inches shorter. he’d say something like, “jealous?” with that tilt of his head, and then walk out anyway. so theo let him go. let him take that damn bag of whatever he bought you, let him walk right into your space, right into your home, into the warmth that wasn’t his to want.

who the hell was theo to protest? he went straight to his room, peeled off his jacket, and crawled under the covers fully clothed. the sheets were cool against his skin, but it didn’t soothe anything. the drinks he’d had earlier sat heavy in his stomach — not enough to make him dizzy, but enough to make everything feel just a little off. he hoped they’d knock him out. that sleep would come quick.

it didn’t. he lay flat on his back, one arm flung over his eyes to block out the thoughts, but they came anyway. he counted the cracks in the ceiling. focused on the soft tick of the old clock on his dresser. on the way the wind brushed against the window, rattling the glass every so often.

"mm... ugh."

theodore jolted upright, ears straining like an animal catching the faintest scent of a target. had he heard that right? he thought he was imagining it, but then he heard it again, clearer this time. “yes… augh, yes…” desperate.

he would have known those sounds anywhere. those pretty little squeal of a moan that slipped from your mouth. he’d spent many nights pressed against the windowsill, watching you with your curtains drawn open just wide enough, seeing the way your body moved beneath your own touch. each quiet gasp, each whimper had been burned into him. engraved so deep inside his mind that even now, with nothing but the sound of your voice to guide him, he could see it all: the way your lashes fluttered, the way your fingers moved, the way your back arched off the mattress as you chased your own pleasure.

theo tossed aside his blanket and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. pushing himself up with his arms, he began walking toward the window. it was already open, though the curtains were drawn. grabbing them at the center where outside light peeked through, he yanked them open.

your bare back faced the glass. mattheo lay stretched out beneath you, his dark curls a mess against your pink silk pillows, his chest rising and falling in uneven breaths. your nails: painted a perfect, glossy white, the edge of your french tips scratched lightly over the broad of mattheo’s chest, leaving red trails. every movement you made was sluggish, lifting your hips, rolling them with a rhythm that made mattheo’s fingers dig deeper into your skin, leaving bruises theo could already see forming along your hips.

his best friends hands clutched you, urging you to move faster, so much harder, needing more.

you leaned down, your spine arching in a curve, and pressed a line of tongue mouthed kisses along the side of mattheo’s neck: hungry kisses that spoke of intimacy theo had never been allowed to taste. he watched you part your lips against mattheo’s throat, tasting the salt on his tan skin, heard the low groan mattheo let out as you continued to ground your hips down.

theo bit down so hard on his own cheek he tasted blood. his cock was hurting against his sweats, but he didn’t dare move, didn’t dare breathe, terrified he’d miss a second.

mattheo’s hands slid from your hips to the plush of your ass. his fingers digging into the meat, squeezing with a grasp that made your body jolt slightly against him. with rough strength, mattheo lifted you just enough to adjust the angle between you, guiding you down again. until you took every inch of him, your bodies fitting together like two broken pieces of the same shattered thing.

theo saw the way your head tipped forward, a moan falling from your lips: the sound sooo soft, vibrating against mattheo’s throat where you kissed him, your lips dragging across his pulse point. fingers curled against mattheo’s chest for balance, the rock of your hips as you rode him faster.

mattheo’s cock drove into you, the swollen head bumping against your g-spot with each thrust.

theodore could see it, could feel it, just by the way your body reacted. every time you lifted your hips, your thighs quivered, your back arching in those beautiful little spasms you couldn’t control.

but frustration simmered just beneath the heat because you were facing away from him, the smooth curve of your back blocking the view he craved most: he’d always loved watching the way your pierced nipples caught his full attention, how the metal glinted as your chest rose with every breath. and now it was hidden from him, kept secret while mattheo got to touch it, taste it.

each grind of mattheo’s hips had your body jolting forward, theodore knew, knew that the thick veins along his best friend’s cock were dragging against your squishy walls, stroking you just right. the way your body melted against his, the way your mouth parted in gasps said everything. your wetness coating him, making every thrust sticky, the lewd squelching sound loud enough that theo could almost hear it through the damn glass.

theo’s dick was throbbing painfully against his jeans, hard as fuck. he hated himself for it. hated that he couldn’t look away. hated that you were right there, split open for someone else, and he couldn’t touch you.

a sound clawed its way from theo’s throat as he shoved his hand into his pants. the first cold brush of his fingertips against his cock tore a choked gasp from him, body jerking against the window. he wrapped his hand around himself in a punishing hold, stroking, as if he could tear the want out of his body by force alone.

“fuckin’ look at yourself,” theodore heard mattheo. you whimpered, head falling back, the ends of your hair grazing over his best friends thighs.

theo fisted himself harder, his eyes on the curve of your back to your golden hoops — in his mind, he saw it clearly: the tattoo beneath your right breast, the one he wanted to mouth, to bite, to worship until you sobbed his name. he imagined it was his cock buried deep inside you, his hands tangled in your hair, your voice breaking as you screamed for him.

that alone made the coil inside theo snap: a release that yanked a whine from his throat. his fingers pinched instinctively, milking every last pulse of hot, desperate seed into his palm. his body jerking against the windowpane, trembling as wave after wave of pleasure ripped through him. the glass against his forehead blurred and fogged with his stuttering breath, but he barely noticed, lost to the absolute high of it.

however, he was instantly flooded with embarrassment at how quickly he had come, all from just the simple sight of his best friend and you.

“oh, come on, nott. it’s my girl’s fuckin’ birthday,” mattheo said, annoyed. pleading as he leaned heavily against the edge of theo’s bedroom window, arms crossed tight over his chest. his chocolate eyes moved between his friend and the view just beyond the glass, where you sat at your vanity, running your fingers through your hair. “pansy and her girlfriend are already there,” he continued, yanking his head toward the sound of laughter and music starting to rise.

“draco, enzo, blaise—everyone’s waiting. it’s going to be weird as fuck if you don’t show up.”

theo didn’t look up. he remained at his desk, wiping it down with a soft cloth like he did nearly every evening. no matter how often he cleaned, it somehow managed to look messier by the next morning. what mattheo didn’t say, but knew, was that theodore’s desk sat in the perfect spot, positioned just below the large window that framed a direct view into your room. from where he stood, theo could see everything. the setup wasn’t intentional, it had been that way since before either of them could remember. his desk had always been there, longggg before he realized what that window actually offered.

“don’t feel like it,” theodore replied, barely looking up from where he was running his cloth in circles across the surface of his desk. “barely even know the woman,” he added with a shrug.

he didn’t know you, not in the way people usually mean when they talk about getting to know someone. he didn’t know your favorite color, or what kind of movies you liked, or whether you bit your nails when you were nervous. but he knew what your body looked like beneath soft silk and tight cotton. he knew the way your lips parted and your head tilted back when you were chasing pleasure, whether it was under someone else’s touch or your own. he’d never heard your voice in conversation, but he’d heard it in squeaky moans carried through open windows.

mattheo exhaled loudly, dragging a hand down his face before turning back toward the window. “exactly,” he said, gesturing toward the sight of you. “you don’t know her. so m’trying to fix that. my two favorite people don’t even know each other, theo. that’s messed up.” that made theodore pause. he turned his head, giving a sideways glance at mattheo. his best friend wasn’t even looking at him, his gaze had returned to the window, locked on you.

curious despite himself, theo followed his best friend’s line of sight. you were sitting at the edge of your vanity chair, legs crossed, applying a final coat of lip gloss. your hair was half up, curls falling down your back like warm honey. the dress you wore, silky where it hugged your hips: the one mattheo had bought for you last week.

you looked gorgeous. too stunning. and somehow theo’s eyes weren’t drawn to the usual things. his attention caught on the tiniest details: the shimmer of body oil on your collarbone. the way your earring swung each time your head tilted. and, because he couldn’t help it, the outline of the piercings on your breasts, barely visible through the thin material of the dress, but justtttt enough to be noticed if someone was looking closely.

“not in the mood to party anyway.” the words were simple, tossed out casually as theo leaned back in his chair, fingertips tapping lightly against the edge of his desk. but the second they left his mouth, mattheo’s head snapped around like he’d been slapped. “not in the mood to party?” he repeated, disbelief in his voice.

mattheo had known theo since they were kids, since scraped knees to the stolen bottles of alcohol behind the castle. if there was one thing he could count on, it was that theodore nott never missed a party. not for exams, not for breakups, not even for detention. the boy lived for chaos, for loud music and dancing girls and a drink in each hand. so this didn’t make sense. “who are you, and what the fuck did you do to my best friend?” he asked. “seriously, tell him i want my him back.”

nott rolled his eyes but couldn’t stop the small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. he shook his head and stood up slowly, stretching before he leaned his weight against the desk. “i’m serious,” he said. “go have fun with your girl. it’s her fuckin’ birthday, just tell her i said happy birthday, yeah?” but even as he spoke, even as he tried to sound uninterested, theo’s eyes wandered back to the window. back to you. still seated at your vanity, fastening the tiny clasp of a necklace around your neck, brushing the curve of your collarbone as you adjusted it.

theo couldn’t go to that party. he wouldn’t. if he saw you and mattheo together, up close, arms around each other, eyes locked in that way that only couples do. he wouldn’t be able to handle it. he’d pretend, obviously. theo was good at pretending. he’d lean against the wall with a drink in hand and wear that handsome grin. but the whole time, he’d be watching you. watching him with you. watching you with him. it would tear him apart.

you were already irresistible when seen through a window. but up close? with that perfume he’d caught traces of in the hallway? with your laugh in his ears instead of muffled through glass? he’d lose his mind.

mattheo bit the inside of his cheek. he hated this. hated the feeling of walking away from something that was supposed to be fun, that was supposed to include everyone he cared about. he and theo had done everything together since they were eleven: first smokes, first fights, first girls, first heartbreaks. there wasn’t a memory worth keeping that didn’t have nott’s name scribbled somewhere in the corner of it. and now, on a night that mattered. his girlfriend’s night, your night, mattheo couldn’t help but feel wrong leaving him behind.

however, mattheo knew better than to argue. if theo said he didn’t feel like partying, then dragging him out would be a lost cause. the fucker was more stubborn than anyone he’d ever met. once he was set in a direction, you’d break your legs trying to turn him around.

letting out an exhale through his nose. “alright,” mattheo said finally, turning toward the door, disappointment dragging at his voice. “if you change your mind, the party’s next door. you know where to find us.” theo gave a nod, already turning his back on his best friend. behind him, he heard the sigh mattheo always gave when he was pretending not to care, followed by the slow creak of the bedroom door opening, closing, then fading footsteps down the hallway.

the moment he knew he was alone, theo turned around. he didn’t even try to hide it anymore. his gaze went straight to your window.

you were standing now, having just risen from your vanity chair. the hem of your dress settled around your thighs as you reached for your perfume, spritzing a small cloud into the air before stepping through it, letting it kiss your skin.

your hands smoothed down the fabric of your dress once more as you took a final look in the mirror, brushing a curl of hair behind your ear. theo watched as you grabbed your little clutch bag. paused at the frame for just a second, looking back, maybe to check your reflection one last time, maybe just thinking—and then disappeared from view.

of all the people theo could’ve become obsessed with, why did it have to be you? why did it have to be his best friend’s girlfriend? the one girl he couldn’t have, the one person who should’ve been completely off limits. obsession didn’t even feel like the right word anymore. it was deeper than that.

when this all started, when theo first saw you touching yourself, you weren’t even with mattheo. he remembered that night vividly: down to the way you were lying back, lips parted, chest rising and falling with every desperate sound you let out. your hand was slow between your thighs, and the look on your face was tattooed into his mind permanently.

what if he’d moved first? what if he hadn’t stayed silent, hadn’t given mattheo time to get close to you? would you have looked at him the way you look at his best friend now? would you have let him touch you until you were trembling, maybe even crying from how good he’d make you feel? would you have let him ruin you in all the ways he dreamed of?

oh, could’ve, should’ve, fuckin’ would’ve. but the most twisted, most fucked part of it all: theo had only grown more obsessed after finding out you and mattheo were together. he couldn’t explain it. something about seeing the two of you wrapped up in each other, giving and taking pleasure so lovingly, cracked him open in ways he didn’t even want to name.

just like mattheo had said, his two favorite people. you and mattheo: two people theo is utterly obsessed with — had found each other. the two people theo loved to watch, to crave for, had somehow ended up in a relationship.

god, he loved it. he loved when his best friend came back smelling like you: the sweetness of your skin, raw scent of sex still sticking to him. he loved knowing you had made mattheo feel so good that he’d finally settled, finally stayed in a relationship.

theo loved it. loved that if it couldn’t be him wrecking you, worshiping you, making you come on his cock so deliciously, at least it was his best friend. if he wasn’t the one making mattheo’s eyes flutter shut in pleasure, you were. he tried to deny it — every part of him convinced that he was just jealous because mattheo had you. but the truth was more twisted: he was jealous because you had mattheo too.

theo blinked hard, over and over, as if it would somehow erase the thoughts that had taken inside his mind. thoughts so bizarre, so fucked, they didn’t even feel like they belonged to him. his chest felt tight, his skin too hot. he pushed himself up from his desk chair, the legs scraping roughly against the wood floor, and stalked toward the bathroom. he slid open the shower door with a clatter, the sound echoing in the tiled space, and twisted the faucet on full blast toward freezing cold. the pipes making a shuddering sound as he tore at his clothes: stripping his shirt off over his head, kicking his pants down in one tug, leaving a trail of garments behind him like he couldn’t get them off fast enough.

the moment he stepped beneath the icy spray, the shock of it hit him instantly. theo hissed through his teeth, bowing his head as the water tickled down his overheated skin, soaking his hair, dragging goosebumps across his frame. he leaned a palm against the cold tile, his other hand curling briefly into a fist at his side as he forced himself to stand there, to let the freezing water do its brutal work.

the arousal he’d gotten, just from the vivid thought of his two favorite people tangled up in pleasure, so good for him — fucked him up.

he stayed there longer than necessary, shampooing his hair, scrubbing his body hard enough to turn his skin red. as if he could wash the images out of his mind along with the sweat from his skin. when he finally shut off the faucet, the silence was instant. water dripped from his hair, trailing down his spine as he reached for a towel. he wrapped it low around his hips, the cotton scratching at his skin, and wiped a hand across the fogged mirror without bothering to really look at himself.

he grabbed a handful of cotton swabs, poking one into his ear, not yet swishing it around. with the other hand, he reached for his toothbrush, squeezing a quick line of mint toothpaste across the bristles before jamming it into his mouth.

theo stepped back into his room, still brushing his teeth, however: he stopped dead in his tracks. the sight before him instinctively made him stumble back a step, his heel catching on the edge of the rug. the toothbrush slipped from the corner of his mouth, hanging awkwardly. “what ttthe—” he mumbled, his voice barely hearable through the toothpaste foam.

he spun around and rushed back into the bathroom. the faucet screeching as he turned it back on with clumsy fingers, quickly bringing his mouth down to gather water. he swished, then spat it out, gripping the sides of the sink to steady himself for a second before straightening up. his eyes searched his reflection in the mirror, as if to confirm he wasn’t losing his grip on reality. then he stepped back out into his room.

you were standing near the foot of his bed, wearing that dress, it looked even more stunning up close. one thin strap had slipped down your shoulder, exposing more skin that seemed intentional… or maybe it was intentional. you tilted your head slightly. “rude of me not to announce myself, i know,” it was the first time he'd heard your voice in a complete sentence, and he was already captivated by it. “but you were in the shower, and i didn’t want to interrupt.”

theo just stared at you, his brain struggling to catch up. he blinked once. then again. and again, expecting you to disappear like some strange dream.

his voice came out lower than usual, cracking embarrassingly. “where’s matt…heo?” his gaze darted briefly around the room, expecting his friend to appear from behind the curtain or the closet door. if you were here, then surely mattheo couldn’t be far behind.

“he actually sent me,” you said, lifting the keys you still had clutched awkwardly in your hand, as if they somehow validated your presence. “said you… uh… had condoms.” theo almost chuckled at how shy you got just saying the word condoms. sweet thing. if only you knew how much he had already seen, how much he had already imagined. his blue eyes dragged over you, barely suppressing the smirk that tugged at the corner of his mouth.

“yeah?” he exhaled, turning away, crossing the room. his towel sat low on his hips, the damp fabric wrapped around the cut of his waist. every step he took made it shift dangerously. you stayed frozen by his bed, trying very hard not to look: failing miserably.

theo crouched down in front of his dresser, yanking open the bottom drawer. it creaked, revealing a mess of old things: wrinkled shirts, an empty box of mints, and underneath it all, a few leftover condoms from an ex-girlfriend.

he grabbed three without thinking, large hands checking the slim foil wrappers, and walked back toward you. the condoms dangled casually from his fingers as he extended his hand out: just close enough for you to reach. your hand was halfway there when theo snatched them back.

“you know how to put them on, right?” you lifted your gaze up at him through your lashes, lips parting slightly like you wanted to say something but couldn’t quite find the words. and theo, all bare in front of you, save for the thin strip of towel slung dangerously low around his hips. the shape of him barely covered the way your thighs instinctively pressed together.

you shook your head. theo could’ve groaned at the sight. he already knew, obviously. knew you and mattheo didn’t use condoms, his best friend had always been stubborn about it, even back at school, bragging about how he hated the “killjoy” of it. the number of plan b boxes theo had seen mattheo toss into his bag over the years only confirmed it: it was even worse now that he had you.

regardless, knowing it was your birthday, theo was certain mattheo wasn’t going to stop at just one round. not a fuckin’ chance. shit, knowing his friend, he’d probably go as many rounds as the number you were turning, determined to fuck you until you couldn’t even remember how old you were.

these were mandatory.

“want me to show you?” theo asked, the words slipping out before he could think better of them. he knew. fuck, he knew — this could either go insanely wrong or exactly how he’d fantasized a hundred times in the guilty corners of his mind. the moment the question was said, your pretty lips parted, eyes blinking up at him with disbelief. theodore couldn’t blame you, your boyfriend’s best friend had just asked if you wanted him to show you how to put on a condom.

silence pulled between you. theo’s stomach twisted, a thread of doubt shredding through the daze of heat blurring his mind. he thought about taking it back, covering it up with a laugh, pretending it was a joke, anything to save face.

“yes,” you breathed. so sickly sure. the single word dip into him like a match to gasoline.

theo’s pulse pounded loud in his ears as he moved to sit on the edge of his bed. he ran a hand through his damp hair, pretending to be okay, but every nerve in his body was tickling. he gestured for you to sit beside him, hand loose in the air, but his entire body felt tense. you obeyed without hesitation, shy as you perched on the mattress next to him. so fucking obedient. so fucking tempting.

he let the towel fall from his hips with a flick of his fingers, letting it pool on the bed. your breath caught. fully bared in front of you, was theo’s dick: an angry red at the tip, straining up at full attention. all from the simple sight of you sitting there, looking so shy and sweet in that little dress mattheo had bought you.

you swallowed, throat bobbing with the effort. your body shifting almost unconsciously on the bed: thighs pressing together, hands clenching into the fabric of the comforter beneath you. you couldn’t stop looking at him, at all. that gorgeous, heavy heat standing between his hips. theo’s mouth tilted into a smile at your reaction, but his voice stayed rough around the edges, when he said, “don’t open it with your teeth. could accidentally rip it. then it won’t work.”

you nodded, completely focused on him. on what he was doing. on how he was doing it.

he tore the wrapper open with his hands, the foil crinkling. he plucked the condom from the packet, letting it spread slightly between his fingertips. “it’s a little wet,” theo murmured, his accent peaking through due to nerves. “you have make sure it doesn’t slip through your pretty little fingers.” the way he said it, your pretty little fingers, made your entire body hot. you couldn’t tear your eyes away as he lined the condom carefully with the head of his cock, making sure it was angled just right before slowly rolling it down.

the latex slapped onto his skin, catching every vein, every impossible inch that had you pressing your thighs even tighter together. “just like that.” you bit down hard on the inside of your cheek to keep from making some humiliating sound right there on the bed. your hands squeezed tighter in your lap, thighs trembling from the effort of staying still.

“can i… can i try?”

theo was about to nod, maybe crack a joke about grabbing a banana or something less dangerous, but you shook your head quickly, moving forward on the bed before lifting a manicured hand to stop him. “i mean… on you,” you said. “can i try… on you?”

theo genuinely thought he was on the verge of passing out. your words ricocheted around his mind, hitting every nerve. his heart was pounding so loud it was all he could hear, he wondered if you could hear it too. nott gobbled down his saliva, fingers a little shaky now as he grabbed one of the extra condoms from where he’d tossed them on the bed. his hand brushed yours when he passed it over, your manicured nails scratched slightly against the rough pads of his fingers as you took the foil packet from him.

he forced himself to move, peeling off the condom he’d already put on, tossed it into the small trashcan by his desk.

you tore open the foil carefully, trying not to rush, your bottom lip caught between your teeth in concentration. when you slid the condom out, you held it up between your fingers. “you weren’t wrong,” you said, giving him a shy glance from under your lashes. “it’s… really wet.”

his cock twitched, visibly, at the sound of your voice, at the sight of you sitting there so pretty. you turned slightly to face him, holding the condom between your fingers. theo had to clench his fists into the mattress to stop himself from reaching for you. you were so close now that the scent of your shampoo mixed with the smell of latex was starting to become theo’s new favorite scent.

he observed, almost in slow motion, as you lined the condom up with the tip of his dick, so carefully he found it cute. and started to roll it down over him.

the first brush of your nails against his cock had theo’s thighs tensing, an involuntary jerk of his hips that he quickly bit back. you were trying so hard to be gentle, to be careful, your eyes flickering up to his face every few seconds for approval. “like that?” you whisper, voice barely hearable over the ringing in his ears. you were so close that when you tilted your chin to look at him, the slightest movement brought your face right near his: breath sweet, brushing across the tip of his nose. theo thought he might actually lose his mind. his dick throbbed against your palm, and it took every control he had not to thrust into your hand and wreck every bit of innocence still in the room.

“just like that,” theo rasped. he cleared his throat roughly, trying to ground himself, to wrestle back the thin shred of control slipping through his fingers. he was about to hook a finger under the rolled latex and slide it off, end this insanity before it went any further. when your hand shot out and stopped him, fingers brushing his wrist.

“wait,” eyes wide and questioning, locked onto his. “what about… if it’s filled?” you asked, cheeks flushing at the bluntness of your own words. “how do i remove it without any of the… juices spilling inside me?”

thrown off by how sweetly filthy that question sounded coming from your mouth. theo licked his lips slowly, mind racing, what to do. because the images flashing behind his eyes were downright dirty. he should have just explained it easily — but instead a far darker thought came to mind a sick, sick thought. one he didn’t have the power to resist.

theo reached out, his fingers brushing along your bare shoulder where the strap of your dress had slipped down. he caught the strap between two fingers and lifted it gently, sliding it back into place, his knuckles skimming your heated skin in the process. the soft prickle raising across your skin in visible waves. his fingers stayed a second too long, memorizing the warmth radiating off your body, before he forced himself to pull away.

“i’d show you… but it’s more of a visual lesson.” a smile tugged at your mouth, and you leaned in, just enough that theo could see the lust in your eyes. “good thing i’m a visual learner.” the condom still slapped over his cock stretched as he grew even harder. something he hadn’t thought physically possible until now.

“oh, i believe you,” theo muttered, he nodded toward the two empty condom wrappers on the mattress, to show how very serious you both were taking this ‘lesson.’ he adjusted himself on the bed, settling more toward the middle to give you both more room. “let me just-” he started, reaching for himself, intending to stroke his cock and mimic how the condom would fill. however, before his fingers could even brush his hardened dick, you stopped him.

“i have a better idea,” you said, syrupy sweet. “to get the full experience.” theo blinked at you, confused, until you rose up from where you were sitting beside him. you swung a leg over him, straddling his hips, and his heart just about stopped.

the thin material of your underwear brushed over the sensitive head of his dick, and theo had to bite back a sound. a pathetic noise that scratched up his throat. he could already feel it, could already feel himself on the verge, and you hadn’t even taken him inside yet.

“always have to be sure…” theo’s voice weakened. you gave him a look, that sexy look and slipped your fingers down between your legs, hooking into the side of your panties. you dragged the fabric aside, exposing yourself to him, and theo’s mouth actually watered.

you reached between your bodies, your hand wrapping around the base of him. theodore nearly jolted at just that, your fingers, so warm wrapping around him. “for learning purposes,” you said softly, locking eyes with him. for learning purposes. you lifted yourself up a bit, lining him up with your entrance, and theo could barely believe this was real. he was finally going to touch you, finally going to make you feel so unbelievably good, just like he’d imagined far too many times. then slowly, soooo slowly, you started to sink down.

the head of his red, angry dick disappeared into the squishy walls inside you. theo whimpered instantly, an embarrassingly wrecked sound that slipped out through his nose and clenched teeth. this was the same position you’d been in when he watched you and mattheo through the window, your back to him, making his best friend fall apart under your touch. only now, you were on top of theo, and he could still smell your boyfriend on your skin. he could still smell mattheo on you.

he wasn’t sure which he loved more: the scent of you on mattheo… or the smell of mattheo left on you.

your palms laid flat against theo’s chest for balance, hips rolling in waves that had both of you gasping, lost in the feeling. his hands roamed your body, thumbs sweeping over the curve of your waist, the full bulge of your breasts. his hands traced lightly over the ink just beneath your right breast, the red cursive spelling angel against your skin.

what an angel, riding him like your boyfriend, his best friend, wasn’t just next door. throwing a party in your honor. “feel fuckin’ amazing…” theo breathed against your skin. “my best friend had all this to himself?” his words dissolve into kisses and biting sucks against your pierced nipples, leaving trails of swollen, purpled marks. you moaned, arching into him, shoving your breast deeper into his mouth. he groaned as he sucked around the metal, loving the taste he had only ever dreamed about. it was even better than he had imagined, shocking against his tongue.

even up close he could still taste the traces of your boyfriend’s cologne clinging to your skin. the thought should have disgusted him. however, it made him impossibly harder.

theo sits up, caging you against him in a bruising hold, his arms locking around your body so tightly you can barely breathe. he holds you there, crushing you to his chest as he thrusts up into you, giving you everything. your hands fly to the back of his neck, fingers tangling in his hair, dragging him even closer to your chest as he continued to drive into you.

“keep hitting right th—ugh…” yur words broke off in a choked moan, the sentence dying on your tongue. theo didn’t need to hear the rest; he already knew. he obeyed immediately, adjusting the angle of his thrusts, jabbing into the spot inside you that made your body jolt. you tried to keep moving, hips grinding down against him in desperate circles, but every time the thick head of his cock nudged that sensitive spot: you faltered, legs trembling around his waist. theo caught you when you slumped forward, letting your head drop onto his shoulder as you whimpered. his arms curled around you, holding you steady while he kept thrusting up into you, meeting your weak movements halfway, guiding you through the waves of pleasure crashing over your body.

every breath you took fanned across his neck as you clung to him. you hadn’t even bothered warning him that you were about to come, you couldn’t find the words, and he didn’t need them anyway. he could feel it.

the way your walls sucked him in, squeezing him tighter. even through the condom, he could feel the rush of your release, dripping down all over his cock. theo cursed under his breath, losing his rhythm as his own orgasm hit, his body pushing against yours. hips lifting up into you one last time, deeper than before, as he spilled into the condom with a groan muffled against your shoulder.

for a while, neither of you moved, the only sounds in the room were your heavy breathing. theo pulled out of you, the latex still slapped against him gleaming with your juices. but instead of letting go, he wrapped his fingers tightly around the base of the condom. “first,” he said, voice still recovering from the aftershocks, “don’t just yank it out like you usually do.” he demonstrated, pinching the tip of the condom carefully between two fingers to trap the contents inside. “always pinch the tip,” he instructed, “or you’ll make a fuckin’ mess.”

“then,” theo murmured, eyes locked on yours, making sure you were paying attention. his fingers gripping the base of the condom, not letting a drop escape. “slowly roll it down,” he instructed. “keep your grip tight at the tip.”

you watched, still catching your breath, as he demonstrated for you: rolling the condom down his still softish cock inch by inch. you could see the way his knuckles tensed slightly with the control he forced himself to maintain, ensuring not a single drop spilled.

when the condom was finally off, theo pinched the tip again for extra caution, lifting it between two fingers. you caught a glimpse of it, full of everything he was going to pour into you. theo twisted the open end into a tight knot, sealing it shut before tossing it casually into the nearby trash can with a flick of his wrist.

only then did he turn back to you. your back sprawled out across his bed, hair wild against his dark sheets, skin covered in sweat. fat purple hickeys scattered down your neck, your chest, your thighs. theo stood for a moment, just drinking it in, the gorgeous sight of you, the mess of you. the way you looked destroyed and beautiful under his touch. part of him, a greedy part, wanted to take a picture, to keep you like this forever, ruined by him with the scent of his best friend on you.

instead however, he let himself hover over you, one hand brushing your cheek. “happy birthday, by the way,” voice almost too soft for what they’d just done.

he lowers himself, mouth trailing a path down your throat, across your collarbone, tongue lapping up the thin sweat he left behind. you exhale through your nose, blinking down at him through post-orgasmic daze. “you’re obsessed,” you whisper, voice wrecked.

“of fuckin’ course i am,” he mutters, almost resentful, like somehow it’s your fault he’s like this. when his mouth reaches the curve of your breast. he stops, catching on the silver piercing on the tender peak. “fuck…” he breathes. his mouth falls open, tongue flicking over the metal before he seals his lips around it, sucking it into the heat of his mouth. his free hand cups your other breast, thumb rolling over the second pierced nipple, the barbell clicking under the pressure.

he devours your chest, leaving trails of saliva and bruises like signatures across your skin. dark red and purple marks blush over the soft bump of your breasts, around the delicate piercings, down to the fragile skin just above your ribs.

you sink your nails into his hair, yanking sharply when the overstimulation becomes too much. he looks up at you then, lips all swollen. “now go show my best friend everything i just taught you.”

413 notes · View notes

szatears · 2 days ago

Text

comfort zone, modernau!smoke.

summary: just smoke spoiling his girl.

pairing: modernau!smoke x fem!black reader

warnings: some descriptions of reader, cunnilingus, also munch!smoke because we all deserve it.

notes: this sinners brainrot will not leave me alone and i love it !!! also we hit 100 followers after just a couple days... i love you all so bad 🫶🏾

It was around 6 in the evening when Smoke came home to you. He'd been away in Atlanta for two days, a business trip as usual. You knew what he did, the type of people he worked with and what that came with. You didn't really care because at the end of the day, the most important thing to you was your relationship with him.

Everyone knew him as Smoke, but to you he was just Elijah. As soon as he walked through the huge doors to your shared home, he stopped being Smoke and Elijah came out instead.

Whenever he was away, you'd usually occupy yourself with something just fine. Going out with your girls, catching up on your own work, visiting family and so on. Anything to help take missing him off of your mind.

Today, as you waited for Smoke to come back, you decided to get a manicure. A little touch up on your nails could never hurt. It didn't take too long either, a half hour drive there and back in just under two hours. God, did you love your nail tech.

You had them done blue, Smoke's favourite colour on you.

You lounged around the house waiting for him, your only other companion being the small rottweiler puppy that Smoke had gifted to you. He whined as you patted him, rolling over next to you.

"I know, baby, daddy's coming home soon." You frowned, scratching behind his floppy ears.

The sound of keys turning in the door had those floppy ears turning straight real quick. Before you could even turn your head to the door, your puppy was already there, scratching at the back of it whilst Smoke attempted to get through.

"Man, move───" he muttered, trying to get through with a bunch of shopping bags and a puppy nipping at his legs.

You smiled, a part of you exhaling a sigh of relief that he'd come back to you in one piece.

It was never easy to see Smoke leave, the thought of him never coming back to you was always looming over your head. But just like he always reassured you he would, he came back seemingly fine.

You walked towards them, Smoke's facial features gradually relaxing at the sight of you. "Hi," you spoke smoothly, your arms around his neck as you pulled his face towards yours, kissing his lips.

You took a moment to run your hands over his body, the black compression shirt that he wire doing wonders for him. It always drove you crazy.

"Hey, baby," he kissed you back, dropping the bags gently on the floor giving his hands space to grab at your ass. "You been good?"

"Mhm," you answered, letting your nails scratch gently at the back of his neck. That always did the trick. You looked down at the puppy by your feet, breaking away to pick him up. He was getting heavier as each day went by.

You held him up to Smoke's face. "Say hi to your son, Elijah."

"That ugly ass thing ain't my son," he kissed his teeth, waving you off as he started moving the bags into the living room.

Laughing, you carried your puppy to its playpen, giving you snd Smoke some peace of mind for now.

You came back to find him emptying his pocket contents on the coffee table: gun, wallet, keys, and stacks of money. Instead of putting the money on the table with the rest of his stuff, he walked over to you.

He pulled the strap of the tank top that you wore, using it to tuck the money into your bra.

"What's this for?" you smiled, looking up at him. He was always giving you money randomly, various amounts for various reasons.

"For looking pretty," he kissed your cheek. "That's for you too," he nodded his head towards all the shopping bags that he brought in.

Your eyes followed to the bags, feeling so much appreciation overwhelm you. Smoke's love languages were most definitely gift giving and acts of service; he would use any and every opportunity to spoil you, but the minute you bought anything for him, he'd be telling you off for spending your money on him.

"You didn't have to," you pouted, sitting on his lap as you kissed all over his face. "You spoil me too much, I don't even have space for it all."

"I don't spoil you enough," He mumbled, kissing you back. "Come on, do your lil' try on thing you always do for me." He tapped the back of your thigh.

You giggled, "You mean a haul?"

"Yeah, that."

And that you did. Smoke had gotten you bags, clothes, lingerie, new makeup products... things you already had but according to him, could never have enough of.

You tried on each item, except for the lingerie. You said you wanted to surprise him with it another day, and he wasn't complaining.

At the end of your haul, Smoke helped you put everything away, making a comment to himself about having to expand your walk in wardrobe.

Now you two lay on the bed, cuddled up as a random show was on the TV. You loved moments like these, when he was yours. Not the rough Smoke that everyone else knew him as, but as your soft and loving boyfriend.

"You good?" Smoke stopped rubbing his hand gently on your body when he noticed you let out a sigh.

"I'm more than good," you smiled dreamily, like you were drunk just off of his affection.

He took your word for it, lifting your body onto his. His hands wrapped around your lower back whilst your chin rested on his chest, looking right at him.

"You know I love you, right?" He said.

"Yeah. I love you too."

Smoke smiled, his large hands squeezing at your ass. "And I love this ass too."

"You can never stay serious, can you?" You laughed, reaching back to move his hands. Instead, he flipped the two of you so he was now on too, your hands pinned on either side of your head.

"You know damn well how serious I can be."

And that you did. There was only a handful of times when Smoke had gotten serious with you, times when he was more Smoke than Elijah with you. One of the things he loved most about you was that you brought out the side of him that didn't immediately resort to violence, the one that still had hope that he could be loved like he once thought.

He leaned down, kissing you gently, softly. You kissed him back, your hand pulling his head even closer, nails grazing over his low cut. He caught a flash of blue as he pulled back from the kiss, removing a hand from your side to look at your hand properly.

"Look at you repping me," he teased you, running his fingers over your nails.

"Had to let 'em know," you shrugged.

"Damn straight," he mumbled against your lips. He could never get enough of you, you were like a drug to him.

He kissed from your lips down your neck, to your collarbone, nipping and sucking as he went. He loved marking you, you don't know when it started but you knew sure as hell it wasn't gonna stop.

Smoke let his runs run all over you, until you tugged at his shirt, frowning. "Why you poutin', baby?" He tilted his head, knowing the answer but wanting to drag it out of you.

"Take it off," you said.

"Yes ma'am."

As he pulled his shirt off, you watched on, smiling at your man's toned body. You let your hands rake over his abs as he leaned back down to you. "Your turn," he tapped your side.

You sat up a bit, pulling down the straps of your tank top before taking it off, no bra underneath. Smoke wasted no time, latching onto your breasts before you could even lay back down.

You let out a loud moan, like you haven't felt his touch in ages. Whilst he worked on your breasts, sucking and biting, he let his hand slide inside the shorts you wore, grazing over your clothed pussy. He could feel how wet you were just from a few touches.

"Fat ma missed me, huh?" he joked. You kissed your teeth, groaning as he rubbed gently.

"Elijah... do something," you moaned.

"Aight, baby, lift up for me." he took your shorts off when you lifted your hips, along with your panties. He settled in between your legs, lying down so he was face to face with your seeping pussy. He looked at you, knowing he was absolutely about to devour you.

The first lick had you throwing your head back, your thighs immediately closing around Smoke's head. If he could've died right then, he would've died a very happy man.

As he licked up and down, sucking your clit, you writhed underneath him, struggling to stay still with how he was doing you.

He gripped your hips, forcing you to stay in one spot. "If you keep moving, I'ma stop." he mumbled with his lips still on you, sending vibrations through your body.

You nodded, knowing he was dead serious about that. One thing about sex with Smoke? The overstimulation was real.

He continued to lick bold stripes up and down your fold, kissing at deeply as he went. You could feel that coil deep in you about to snap, your whimpers and moans getting louder as Smoke used his fingers to rub your clit.

"Fuck, baby, I'm almost─── Oh, fuck, I'm gonna cum!" you moaned as you came, but Smoke still didn't let up, lapping up all your juices as you rode out your high.

You panted, trying to push his head away, already feeling like you could tap out. But when he looked at you, his moustache and goatee coated in your cum, you knew this was only the start.

"You boutta tap out on me? Hm?" he asked.

You shook your head, guiding him back to your folds. You felt his smirk on you, his lips going back to doing what they did best.

You always did love when he came home to you.

#modernau!smoke x reader #michael b jordan x reader #sinners x reader #smoke x reader #sinners #sinners x black reader #smoke x black reader #michael b jordan x black reader

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brunhielda · 11 hours ago

Text

Understanding the differences between

A) the plot suggesting they are going to get together

B) How they are placed/filmed/body language suggesting they will get together

C) How body language implies passion/chemistry

D) How they interact in moments without plot/minor discussion/just looking at each other implies AFFECTION

This break down has helped me stage high school and community theater productions with romantic subplots without anyone ever haveing to do anything physically that they are uncomfortable with.

If you place him so that he is always looking at her, and she looks at him everytime he leaves the stage? They never have to kiss.

If every time they touch it is a comforting hand on arm to distract from big emotion, with 5 second eye contact? They never have to kiss.

If they can picture the other character as someone in thier life that they just think is the best and would do anything for? (Which is usually a parent/bestie/sibling- I rarely hear them using a romantic relationship to get to that emotion) You KNOW, in one scene, they are in love, before they even get within 3 feet of each other.

And that’s before I get to staging them in ways that makes the audience unconsciously think of them as together even before they act on anything.

Like- I get really really tired of stories chickening out and giving me nothing but a couple suggestive camera angles, then a sex scene, then they are the one thing the other values most in life with ZERO chemistry build up. I don’t need another sex scene. I need to see the love in his eyes when she laughs for the first time on screen, and I need her to smile and lean against a doorway as he helps someone else out with a problem, or is enthralled by a horse, or is doing something he’s really passionate about.

Give me actual LOVE please- not just Lust.

(fun way to talk to kids about healthy boundaries and lust versus love by the way- teach them on stage romance 🥰)

this tweet is new but it is actually a fundamental text for me

#storytelling #romance #love #lust #not always the same thing #theater is good for teaching a lot of life lessons #you are examining different peoples lives #and exploring teamwork community partnership #I frickin love theater

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haetrack · 2 days ago

Note

thinking about mark who loves to eat you out and uses making you feel good as a stress relief for him.

imagining you sitting on the couch when he comes home from work after a long, stressful day, and immediately dropping his bags to make his way over to you. he’s kneeling between your legs before you can even get words out, pulling down your pants and your panties to the side, too impatient to take them off completely. he eats you out like his life depends on it, pent up from how awful his day at work was.

after he makes you cum all over his face and the couch, you’d return the favor even after he denies that no, he doesn’t need you to help him. he only cares about you and you only. he’d praise you the entire time, moaning about how perfect your mouth feels around his cock..

val please save me please val if u can hear me IM LOSING IT..

mark lee x afab!reader

wc: 1.4k-ish

warnings: smut, okay fluff, established relationship, oral (both receiving), praise, pretty nice and they love each other, so i made it too sweet by accident sorry

a/n: bc im bored and procrastinating orgo and this ask is over a year old and im sure winnies birthday has passed so HAPPY BELATED thank u for giving me an excuse not to study

mark is a little late coming back today.

which really isn’t surprising considering everything, but you can’t help yourself from worrying each time. you packed up the little lunch you made today safely into the refrigerator for when he comes back, and the apartment is quiet for when you have beg him to let you console him (he always gives in). the only sound is a show playing quietly on the tv, with you lounging on the couch, scrolling lazily through your phone as you wait for your boyfriend to come home.

you have these quiet moments to yourself in order to prepare to take care of mark. which is a fairly easy job, considering how much he loves it, even if he tries to keep it a secret. so when he comes back today, a small, awkward smile on his face as he steps in, you think today is another day where you get to smother him with all the care he deserves.

you pat the spot next to you on the couch. mark blinks once, twice, before making it halfway over to you. he stops and stares at you, comfortable in your house clothes, before letting out a quiet breath. before you know it, he lets the backpack hanging off of his shoulder drop to the floor, practically tripping over his own feet as he makes his way over to you.

in a quick moment, he’s dropped to his knees, both of his hands gently raking up your thighs as he puts his chin on his knee, looking up at you with a reverent look, practically begging without speaking.

“mark?” you whisper quietly.

“i know,” he says in a mumbled tone, “i just- i really need this, need you.” he managed before he lets one thumb slip under the bottom hem of your shorts. “today was horrible, and i know that… that you want to take care of me, but please,” he breathes out, warm against your thigh, “please let me eat you out.”

no words come out of you before mark starts tugging at your shorts, pulling them down haphazardly before he laps clumsily at your panties. he lets out a quiet groan, not even bothering to pull down your panties, using two fingers to pull them to the side before he licks a strip up your slit. you let out a whine, your hands making their way to his hair, holding him in place as he begins to eagerly move his mouth against you.

“you have no idea how much i kept thinking about you,” he says through loud licks, “had so many people be so… so picky with me today, but all i could think about was being here with you,” he murmur before sucking on your clit, moving a finger against your entrance. all you can do is sit there, letting out whimpers of his name as you roll your hips against his mouth, pleading for his fingers.

he’s not one to deny you or deny himself the pleasure of feeling your cunt wrapped tightly around his fingers, easily giving into your pleas as he sinks a finger inside. he practically whines as he feels you grinding down on his face, using his free hand to grip at your hip, encouraging your ministrations. “tell me what you need,” he pants against you, “i’ll do it all, just wanna make you feel good.”

“fingers, need more fingers,” you whine, looking down at him with hazy eyes, small whimpers and moans leaving your lips. your hips stutter when he looks up at you, his pupils blown wide through his half-lidded eyes, ready to follow your every word.

he sinks two more fingers in, fingers curling as they find your sweet spot inside you with perfect ease. you let out a sharp cry as his fingers prod, your head falling back to the couch before lolling to your shoulder. your hands tug incessantly at his hair, pulling him impossibly closer to you. mark doesn’t falter, he goes faster, listening to your every need and watching your every move. his hand on your hip slowly trails up and under your shirt, groping at your boob, thumb smoothing over your nipple as he feels you clenching down on your fingers.

“w-wanna feel it, wanna see you cumming on my fingers,” he says messily as he laps at your clit, “please.”

it doesn’t take longer after his begging for your orgasm to quickly come over you, your body wound tight as you practically curl against mark, hands tugging harshly at his hair. every nerve of yours is alight, and you can vaguely feel mark grinding against your leg as he feels your cunt spasming against his fingers. you can’t exactly hear yourself, but you can feel yourself mouthing mark, thank you, please, and i love you.

it takes a moment for mark to eventually pull away, both of your faces close to each other as you breathe out. it’s another sweet, quiet moment before you both make eye contact, and you can see how his mouth and chin glisten with your release, a small laugh leaving you at the sight. you tug gently at his shoulder, motioning for him to finally sit on the couch with you. all it takes is a quick kiss to mark’s lips before he’s joining your side, continuing the kisses as you press yourself against his side.

when your hand meets with the bulge in his pants, he lets out a quiet whine against your lips, stuttering out a small, “y-you really don’t have to.”

“and if i really want to?” you smile as you pull back away from his lips, already lowering yourself down to your knees, looking up at him.

as always, mark isn’t one to say no, especially not to you. he watches with a smile on his face as you undo his pants, one of his thumbs stroking your cheek as you tug down his pants and boxers to his knees. “you don’t have to,” he tries once more, his thumb moving to trace over your bottom lip, “i’d be the happiest man on earth if you’d let me eat you out again.”

“i’d be the happiest person on earth if you let me return the favor,” you laugh softly before wrapping a hand around the base of his length, feeling him twitch at the slightest touch. he lets out a quiet hiss as you wrap your lips around his tip, swirling your tongue around as he tries hard not to just buck up into your mouth. he can feel all his stress from earlier melt away, almost as if it never happened.

you just have that kind of effect on him.

and as you take mark’s cock deeper, sucking harshly around him, one of his hands moving to the top of your head to gently guide you down, he realizes that you’re all he needs.

he watches you closely, his eyes full of love and life that only seems to happen when he’s around you. whines and small whimpers leave his mouth as he praises you, “you look so good like this, like… like everything i need. everything i- everything i want.”

mark finds himself close to cumming after only a few minutes, feeling his cock twitch in your mouth as it bobs against him, feeling it settle in his lower stomach as he whines out your name. it’s moments like these, he realizes, that he loves the most. where he gets to see you only in a way he can. where you pull out the meal you saved for him out of the refrigerator, putting on his favorite show as he heats it up, where you look the happiest when you see him.

it’s all he could ask for, he thinks as he holds your head at the base of his cock, teetering on the edge of his orgasm as praise easily slips out of his lips, a life that he spends loving you.

#asks #rikupid #nct smut #mark lee scenarios #mark lee smut #mark lee x reader #mark lee hard hours #bc im a writer i write #lets pretend i wasnt gone for four months

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goorgeousz · 2 days ago

Text

older | aaron hotchner

after hours au

older | aaron hotchner

after hours au

pairing: aaron hotchner x profiler!fem!reader

summary: the team uses their profile skills combined to figure out why you’re not interested in the cute agent just downstairs. you hate it. Hotch loves it.

content/tw: a little swearing. reader is way too dramatic (she threatens to shoot morgan and then herself out of shame).

word count: 1.6k

a/n: I had so much fun writing this one. again, this idea came to me in a shower (my showers are not that long) (I just happen to shower a lot and i have my best ideas in it)

if you have any requests, suggestions or ideas (thought about in the shower or not), my requests are open <3

I’ll stop yapping (for now)

after hours masterlist

main masterlist

The bittersweet scent filled your nostrils before the sight of the steaming extra creamy cappuccino from your favorite coffee shop reached your eyes.

“What?” you squealed in surprise, stopping on your steps and spinning around to find Leo, one of the agents from the second floor “A cappuccino? My favorite! Leo, you didn’t have to.”

“It’s nothing, really.” he dismissed, but puffing his chest either way “I remember you said it’s your favourite. And it happens to be on my way here.” it wasn’t, and you knew it.

“You’re the best!” you complimented, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek “Thank you so much, honey! And it has a little heart in it.” you cooed, and smiled when he blushed “You spoil me way too much!”

“Anything for you.” he flirted “If you need me, I’ll be… Well, you know where to find me.” you chuckled.

“I do. Thank you again!” he smiled and winked, heading to the elevators.

After waiting for a second and tasting the drink to make sure it was as delicious as always (it was), you got back on your track to the break room, only two steps away. You bumped into Emily, who watched the whole interaction with a lopsided grin.

“What?”

“Nothing…” she sing-songed “I just think it’s cute.”

“What’s cute?” Morgan asked, getting in the room just behind the two of you.

Spencer, Hotch and JJ were already there discussing a consulting case the team had been working on. It started with Spencer and Hotch, and then JJ and soon after the break room became a makeshift conference room, like it always did, truly.

“Kelsen just bought her a cappuccino from her favorite coffee place.” Emily announced, getting the attention from the rest. Spencer and Hotch just went back to the files, but JJ standed up and stepped close to you to see it from her eyes.

“It’s not a big deal. I bring you guys sweet treats all the time. This is called being nice.” you pointed, seating on one of the tables and sipping from your beverage.

JJ and Emily just exchanged an amused look. Morgan took the seat to your right “So you don’t see it?”

You frowned “See what?”

“The heavy flirting. The lingering glances.” Emily started.

The completely unnecessary visits to our floor just to stop by at your desk. The excessive gifts.” JJ continued, looking pointedly at the cup you were currently sipping from.

“Oh. That.” you sighed.

“So you admit knowing he’s flirting with you?”

“Yes.” you stared blankly at Emily “So what?”

“So what? This ‘will they won’t they’ is dragging for too long.” JJ pointed.

“Wait, what? This isn’t… There isn’t… It's just harmless flirting.”

“Harmless flirting? Is this even a thing?” Morgan stared at you skeptically.

“Yes. You flirt with someone knowing it’s never going to happen between you. Ever. We do it to each other all the time…”

“Ouch?”

“Besides,” you kept going, not acknowledging his interruption “He’s just playing nice. There’s no actual interest involved.”

“That’s not entirely true.” Spencer muttered from his place at the couch, his eyes glued to the interrogation transcription. He felt the weight of everyone’s gaze on him, and stared back.

“Spill it out, kid.” Morgan begged, sounding way too amused with it.

“He stopped me in the parking lot a few weeks ago.” he started, fixing his glasses and shifting in his position, slightly overwhelmed with the attention. “He asked for advice on… Well, you.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” you whispered “And what did you tell him?”

Spencer shrugged “I didn’t know how to turn him down so I just started rambling facts and research regarding the scientific reasoning behind human relationship and the development of courtship. He eventually dropped it.” he gave everyone a closed-lips smile, seemingly proud of himself and amused.

“Wait, do you do this often? Ramble facts just so people leave you alone?” Hotch asked, glancing up from the tablet for the first time after you got in the break room. Spencer’s cheeks flushed in a deep red.

“Uh… No?”

Hotch surprisingly gave him a tight smile, but before anyone could get more into the revelation, JJ turned back to him, her eyebrows scrunched up together “Why didn’t you help him?”

Relief flooded through Spencer with the change of subject. He relaxed back into the couch, leaning back and crossing his fingers together like he always did when he was ready to discuss something he was certain about.

“I’ve seen her body language. She’s clearly not into him.”

“How so?” Morgan asked, doubfunded.

“Her eyes never linger on him, everytime he leaves the room it’s like he stops existing. Every time they talk she smiles and makes sure she listens, but her torso is almost every time leaning away from him, like she’s ready to go as soon as the conversation is over. It’s not like she’s uninterested, it’s like… she’s not even considering him. Don’t get me wrong, I’m positive she likes him and enjoys his company. And her smiles, her jokes and her laughs are real, just not romantically-interested ones.”

“When did you become an expert in relationships?” Derek squinted his eyes at him.

“This is basic body language knowledge. Knowing about all this says less about my expertise on the subject than not knowing says about your profiling skills…”

“Watch it, kid.”

“He’s getting way too good at these jokes” Emily muttered, nodding in disapproval but her eyes a glint of pride “But back to the real issue?”

“The four cases of first degree murder that happened in the last month in Las Vegas?” you asked, not-so-subtly trying to bring the attention back to the case.

You knew where this was going, and you didn’t like it one bit.

“Why aren’t you interested in him?” she asked, deciding not to acknowledge your observation.

“Hmm” you stuttered “Uh, I-I’m not going to get all personal with my boss in the room.” you declared, taking a long sip from your drink to keep from looking at Hotch. You had no idea why you said that, honestly. Obviously, you had no problem getting all personal in front of him. Or under him. Or on top of him. Or even splayed out at your dining table, face down as up getting eaten out by him.

And he was aware of it. So aware that he had to bite the inside of his cheeks to keep himself from smiling and giving away your secret. It’s not like a single smile would be enough to give away everything that happened that night, but all it took was a little reaction for them to start picking up on you – they were profilers, after all. Hotch only decided he was safe enough from his own frivolity when he felt the taste of the blood from how hard he bit on.

“Oh, cut it. That’s hardly the reason.” JJ stated, crossing her arms.

“Wait, can we focus on the fact that there must be something incredibly wrong for her to be so uncharacteristically shy about this subject?” Emily pointed, narrowing her eyes suspiciously at you.

“I just… Don’t like being the centre of attention.” you tried, and it was probably the first time those words came out of your mouth.

“Ha! Busted!” Emily laughed, banging her palm against the table in excitement and pointed at you, accusingly “That’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told us.”

“Do you have any dirt on him? Like something so disgusting that you can’t even think about…” Derek tried, his smirk growing up at each word.

“No! Not at all!” you exclaimed, started to get pissed off.

“He’s hot, you can’t deny it.”

“He is.”

“He’s nice. Are you the kind of girl who always ends up running away from the guys who are ‘too nice’?” Emily groaned.

“No, I’m not. There’s nothing wrong with him.”

“He’s hot, he’s nice…” JJ listed, once again ignoring your statements. You huffed in annoyment. “He’s tall, he’s responsible, he’s your age, he’s… Wait.” she stopped mid sentence, her face contorting in a smug smirk that almost made you hide under the desk.

You didn’t even realize you were holding your breath until your lungs started to burn along with your cheeks.

JJ had her gaze locked onto yours from across the room, and it’s like she was reading every thought you ever had “We listed many things, many reasons to why you might not be attracted to him. You didn’t bat an eye to any of them… Until I said he’s your age. That’s the problem, right? You don’t like guys your age.”

The thought of banging your head against the table repeatedly until it split open didn’t sound that bad.

There were a thousand ways this could get worse.

“And judging by the fact that she didn’t want this to be discussed in front of Hotch, I’m assuming she’s into older guys.” Emily stated, exchanging fist bumps with JJ and Morgan.

“Don’t tell me you have a little crush on bossman over there. Or is it Rossi? Just tell me this: is Strauss also your type, yes or no?”

Oh dear god.

You fucking knew it.

There were a thousand other ways this could've gotten worse. And that’s one of them.

“Morgan..” Hotch scolded, immediately interrupted by you.

“I have a gun, you motherfu…”

“Enough!” Hotch raised his voice, standing up. “Threatening to use your gun on a coworker could get your license removed.” he raised one eyebrow at you.

“Fine. I’ll kill myself then.” you dramatized, hiding your head under your folded arms over the table.

“This isn’t, in no way, shape or form, any better. Morgan, cut it out.” you heard him scold. “I have a meeting with the director now. Later I’ll meet you all, and the rest of the team, in the conference room. To discuss the case.” He added, eyeing everyone as if to dare them to go against his commands.

Said ‘all’ muttered some kind of agreement, to which you just groaned something unintelligible.

If you’d raised your head a few instant sooner, you would’ve caught the way Hotch’s lips turned into a discreet smirk just before he left the room. Way too pleased with himself. So damn pleased his mind had no space for worries and guilt.

taglist

@winyourheartemma

@midnghtprentiss

@s0urw00lf

@camihotchner

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classjezter · 10 hours ago

Note

I CAN JUST IMAGINE HOW THE BOTS ARE FEELING RN 😭

Not well! they're trying their best though

I wrote a bit for this scene, you can read it down here🔽

It had been a few days since they lost him.

Her room was now a wreck. Jagged holes peppered the walls, one of the chairs had been kicked clear across the room, and a table lay overturned, half-broken. Elita sat hunched over on the edge of her berth, arms resting on her knees, head bowed low. Her frame was tight, tense, like if she moved wrong she might snap in half.

The door swished open.

B-127 hesitated in the doorway, peeking inside with wide optics. He shifted awkwardly, glancing at the battered walls before his gaze landed on Elita. She hadn’t moved. She just sat there, so still it was almost frightening.

"...Hey," he said, voice small in the tense silence.

Elita didn't look up. She just gave a low grunt of acknowledgment, still seething silently. The tension in the room was thick, heavy, he could feel it like a physical weight on him.

Bee hovered awkwardly by the door for a moment before finally walking over and sitting in the berth a little ways from her.

He hated seeing her like this, it was wrong. Elita was supposed to be strong. Unshakable. Seeing her this broken felt worse than anything. This was one of the few times he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to make her feel better.

Finally, her voice broke the silence, rough and low. "I let him down”

Bee blinked. "Elita-“

"I let him down” she said again, louder this time. She finally looked up at him, and the sheer pain in her optics made him flinch. "He trusted me. All of us. And I couldn’t even keep him safe when it mattered”

He thought back to the security footage Prowl had shown them. He thought of a tiny sparkling, awkwardly climbing out of his crib, determined to follow after Elita and B-127 when they’d left to defend their base from the Decepticons. He remembered how nobody had even realized Optimus wasn’t asleep anymore, how they’d been too caught up in all the chaos. Their leader turned-sparkling always did this, wandered off when he shouldn’t, curious and full of energy. They knew he did this, they should have been more careful, they should have-

"I should've been paying attention” Elita muttered, unknowingly voicing B-127 thoughts, her voice low and rough. "I should’ve noticed he was following us... I should’ve noticed something”

B-127’s mouth opened to argue, but the words caught in his throat. How could he tell her it wasn’t her fault when he was carrying that same guilt? When he kept replaying that moment in his processor, running through the halls, hearing the faint sound of Skywarp’s teleporting signature “vop”, and knowing -knowing- he was too late?

He should say something now, he’s being too quiet.

"All I can think about is the last time I saw him. He was trying to follow me. Trying to keep up. And I didn’t even notice. I didn’t even look back” She leaned forward, burying her face in her hands. "Primus... I left him behind”

B-127 scooted closer to her, they were almost touching now “You didn’t leave him," he said after a moment. "None of us did. He just... he got caught in the crossfire. It- it wasn’t supposed to happen. None of this was…”

Elita laughed bitterly into her hands “‘Supposed to happen’ doesn’t mean anything now”

Bee stared at the floor. "Yeah” another beat of silence.

He couldn’t keep quiet anymore.

He looked away from her, guilt twisting in his spark. "I... I’m sorry”

Elita frowned, confused. "What?"

"I’m sorry!” Bee blurted again, louder this time. Turning to look at her, his words stumbled over each other in a rush. "When we realized he was missing, you trusted me to find him, to get him back and keep him safe. I was supposed to find him. I was supposed to get to him first. But I- I didn’t. I wasn’t fast enough. I tried, I swear I did, but Skywarp- he was faster. And I couldn’t get to him in time!"

He squeezed his optics shut, fists clenching in his lap. "I should’ve been faster. I should’ve protected him. It’s my fault too”

Elita sat in stunned silence for a few moments, processing Bee’s rushed confession, the guilt thick in his voice. She had been so buried in her own anger and grief, she hadn’t even thought about how hard this was for the others, how hard it was for him. But hearing Bee’s voice crack like that, hearing the guilt he carried just as heavy as hers, she felt something break inside her.

Her optics softened, and she shifted, scooting a little closer to where he was sitting stiffly beside her so that their sides were touching.

“B…” she said quietly, almost a whisper. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

B-127 blinked, startled by the rawness in her voice. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, he was never good at hiding things. Never good at keeping quiet long enough to keep a secret. That had always been something about him. If something bothered him, everyone knew within five minutes.

But this? This he found hard to talk about.

He shrugged, staring down at his servos. "I... didn’t wanna make it worse," he mumbled. "Everyone already felt bad. You, Wheeljack, Ratchet, all of 'em. I figured if I started dumping my mess on you too... it’d just- y’know. Hurt more."

Elita’s spark ached. He had been hurting this whole time, trying to carry it by himself so that none of them would hurt more. Trying to protect them from his own guilt, when he was just a kid himself.

Without thinking, she reached out and pulled him into a rough, awkward hug, one arm slinging around his shoulders and dragging him close. He stiffened at first, then sagged against her like a tight cord finally snapping.

Words were never really her thing, that was always Optimus' job. Somehow, he could just... pull the right things out of the air, say them so confidently and perfect it made you believe him. Elita? She was better at actions than words.

But Bee needed something right now, and unfortunately, no amount of punching was going to fix this.

"Listen to me Bee, and pay attention because this is important” she paused for a second, waiting for his tiny nod to continue “You aren’t supposed to keep that slag bottled up. You're not a one-bot army” she muttered into his helm. "You don’t have to protect us from that, You don’t have to protect me”

Bee made a small, almost choked noise, but didn’t pull away. His servos clutched at the back of her frame like he was scared to let go.

"You’re not supposed to carry it all by yourself” she said, a little sharper now, voice rough. "You screwed up, fine. So did I. So has every bot in this rusted war. It doesn’t mean you gotta sit there and eat yourself alive over it”

She leaned back a bit and grabbed B-127’s helm so she could look him properly in the optics "You’re not- never were on your own, Bee. You hear me? You’re ours. Mine. And that means you don’t have to shoulder this like it’s your fault, because it isn’t kid”

Bee just blinked up at her, optics huge.

A second passed, and then without warning, B-127 threw himself at her, tackle-hugging her so hard they both nearly toppled sideways where they sat.

"Whoa- hey!" Elita barked, catching him on instinct, arms locking around him tight. Properly hugging him back once the surprise had passed and she could stabilize them.

They stayed like that for a moment, Bee just clinging to her like he did whenever he was feeling too much, like whoever he was hugging would just disappear if he didn’t hold on tight enough.

"You know," he murmured against her chasis, voice full of mischievous affection, "Optimus is better at speeches”

Elita threw a flat look at the top of his helm. “Yeah, well, Optimus isn’t here right now, so you’re stuck with me, brat” Bee just laughed and leaned more into her.

They sat there holding onto each other for a little while longer, finally getting the comfort they both so desperately needed, the room quiet except for the low hum of the base around them. Elita was about to suggest they finally get up, maybe punch another wall or two just for good measure, when Bee spoke up again, voice softer.

"Hey Elita?" he mumbled into her armor "you're being kinda stupid too”

Elita froze “…Come again?"

Bee pulled back in a panic, just enough to look up at her and wave his arms in denial “No! Not like- I don’t mean you’re stupid! I meant that, well, it’s stupid that you keep blaming yourself. For what happened. For losing Optimus”

Elita opened her mouth, ready to bark something back, but B just kept going.

"It wasn’t just you," he said more firmly, voice now filling with confidence “It was all of us. I didn’t look back and see him follow, I wasn’t fast enough to get him. Ratchet and Wheeljack didn’t notice him wandering off. The others weren’t there to catch him either. We all messed up. You’re not the only one who lost him”

Elita stiffened, jaw tight, but Bee wasn’t backing down. He even poked her chassis with a finger.

“We all lost him, Elita. If I’m not alone in this, you’re not either. Just because you’re in charge doesn’t mean you gotta carry all the burden by yourself”

He crossed his arms after that, glaring up at her like he dared her to argue.

Elita stared at him, stunned. For a second, she seriously considered shoving him over just to shut him up, but then the weight of what he said really hit her.

Slag. He was right.

She let out a rough sigh and dropped her helm forward, resting it lightly against his. "You're lucky you're right” she muttered, voice low “and cute, you little punk” she added in a more lighthearted tone.

B-127’s smile finally returned, grin wide and bright, the way it was supposed to be. “It’s part of my natural charm”

Elita snorted, grabbed him by the helm, and ruffled it roughly until he yelped and squirmed.

After a few seconds of torture, he finally got himself free and turned to fully face her "So, what do we do now?"

Elita leaned back, crossing her arms over her chest. Her gaze was sharp, but there was a kind of calm to it now, a certainty that hadn’t been there earlier.

"Now” she said, voice low but steady, "we get Optimus back”

B-127 looked at her, searching, like he needed to be sure she meant it.

She met his optics without flinching. "We're not leaving him. No matter how long it takes, no matter what we have to do. He's ours”

B let out a shaky little laugh, almost disbelieving. "You really think we can?"

Elita let the smallest, rough-edged smile pull at her mouth. "I don't think, Bee. I know”

She reached out, ruffling his helm with a heavy, affectionate shove. "We’re bringing him home. And if Megatron tries to stand in my way-“ she shrugged, casual, almost lazy in the way she said it, "-I'm putting him six feet under myself”

Bee snorted, the sound small but real, the first genuine one in days. He leaned against her side a little, bumping shoulders.

Elita shifted, reaching out and putting her arm across his shoulders. They didn’t have a plan yet. They didn’t have all the answers. But they had each other, and they had the unwavering love they felt for the little sparkling they’d lost, a love that would drive them forward, no matter the odds.

Finally, with an air of confidence, Elita pushed herself up, offering a servo to B-127.

"Come on. Let’s tell the others. It’s time we start putting together a plan”

Bee grabbed her servo, pulling himself up with a determined nod.

This wasn’t over. They would tear the sky apart if they had to, but they were going to bring Optimus home.

#transformers #baby prime #transformers one #baby prime asks #class jezter art #transformers au #tf optimus prime #tf b127 #tf elita one #tfo au #tfo #tf bumblebee #tf fanfic

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xxcrumbxx · 19 hours ago

Text

:>> yes im so tired of ppl miss using words or making up slang for stuff i actually deal with. Also calling ppl with mental illnesses a red flag just bc there mentally ill . Gtfo my back also those ppl who pretend to have them like its awesome or makes you more interesting like yah sure it can be fun sometimes but you know what's not fun. Constant paranoia,fearing for the lives of loved ones and pets then that fear turning into hallucinations and having to listen and see it and suffer in silence bc ppl wont take you seriously/ its un acceptable to react , getting so lost in bable and inconsiderate speech that you shut down or have a panic attack bc nouthing you say makes scentce and with every word you see ppl pitty you get annoyed or scared of /for you awhile nothing is making scene and you cant here over you're own melting mind . Being detatched from reality to the point you dont know what year it is , findeing youre self back in the place you where abused .The world looking un famileur and seeing horrific things based of of trama and youre lovelyest day dreams ,the preifural face flouters of faces scraming in agony and anger there mad at you they all hare you you are bad and need to peel off ur skin you stole it???. the near constant night terrors thet leve you waking up crying and shaking two weak to stand and to sick to lay down relieving you're trauma almost every night stuck in dreams feeling every emotion , hearing your pets be brutally torched and all who you ever love suffer what you have knowing the situation isn't real but the fear and anxiety anger and heart brake is. I have greaved every thing i ever loved over and over for what feels like an eternity of loss and the worst part is with each time they become more and more dead and i no longer have the same feelings for them and i become detached even tho they are beside me and i can never explain to them that to me they or i am a ghost and what we where will never be the same because with every fake death a pice of my love dies as well . Im a schizo franic person with c-ptsd major depression disorder anxiety disorder ( can't remember what its called ) dpd and some other stuff i haven't gotten diagnosed with but have strong suspicion of and this long ass text is the sky to tne ice burg of issues that come with being mentally ill and i dont see it as a compatition and ofc every ones excperianses and reactions are different and i do feel a little "cringe" listeing my stuff out but cringe cualture is dead for a reason and given that I've serviced 20 years of tbh near constant physical and psychological torcher o van proudly say.

It gets "better" the symptoms become manageable the pain a back ground noise you learn tricks and ways to cope sure im medically insane (not a flex idk why it would ever be one) but at least at very rock bottom least my socks are warm and my joints hurt a little less today, i may be insomniac and hungry but im anywhere enough and not in to mutch pain to tell that im hungry ,the it snowed and i hear birds . I may be lonely but not alone you can always talk to the trees and rivers to the bierds and to the walls They never speak over you or tell you how to dream

Things I'd love for the Internet to leave in 2023:

• misusing the word "delusional" or saying "delulu"

• public freakout videos that are just someone displaying psychotic symptoms

• "I'm in your walls" and other paranoia triggering "jokes"

• schizoposting

• misusing the word "psychotic"

• baiting and triggering people online who are openly psychotic or displaying psychotic symptoms

• excluding schizo-spec and psychotic people from any neurodiversity/mental illness awareness

Let's just all try to be better to schizo-spec and psychotic people. And hold others accountable as well.

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luvdwkki · 2 days ago

Text

Lino - Forgiven

Leeknow x Gn!reader

Word count: 4,212

Synopsis: After a fight that left the air between you thick with silence, Minho returns, not with answers, but with open hands and a heart still learning how to stay.

The apartment was quiet, too quiet, except for the sharp clatter of silverware being shoved into drawers with a little too much force. The clink of metal against metal echoed like tension manifesting physically. Your back was to the kitchen entryway, shoulders rigid as you jammed a spoon into the wrong slot, then yanked it out to fix it with a huff.

Minho strolled in, leaning against the kitchen countertop with the same grin he always wore like armour. “You know, for someone so particular about where the forks go, you're being awfully violent with them.”

You didn’t respond.

Minho tilted his head, still grinning. “Everything okay? Or did the forks insult your family?”

You closed the drawer a little too hard, turned, and gave him a look. “Do you ever stop joking?”

He blinked, then raised an eyebrow. “Uh… usually when things stop being absurd. So, never?”

You crossed your arms. “Right. Of course. Because that’s your answer to everything, isn’t it? Just crack a joke, dodge the real stuff.”

Minho straightened slightly. “Whoa, what is this?”

“It’s me being tired, Minho,” you snapped. “Tired of talking to someone who clearly doesn’t give a damn unless it’s entertaining.”

His grin dropped. “That’s not fair.”

“No, what’s not fair is being in a relationship with someone who acts like none of it matters. Like I don’t matter.”

Minho stepped forward, jaw tensing. “Okay, that’s not what I’m doing-”

“But it is! You laugh when I’m upset. You make light of everything. And when I try to bring up something serious, you change the subject or make a joke so I end up feeling like an idiot for even trying.”

“I’m not trying to make you feel like an idiot!” he barked. “God, y/n, maybe I’m just trying not to make everything a damn crisis.”

“And maybe you’d rather hide behind jokes than actually admit you feel anything!” you shouted, eyes blazing. “Because that would mean you’d have to actually show up and be vulnerable for once in your life!”

His mouth opened, then snapped shut, and for a second, you thought he might back down. But instead, he scoffed, shaking his head like he was disgusted.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said bitterly. “I didn’t realize this relationship was some kind of emotional interrogation. You don’t like how I talk? Fine. Maybe I don’t like how you turn everything into a goddamn meltdown the second it’s not going your way!”

“You are so full of it!” you shouted. “You twist everything around so I look like the bad guy, like I’m too sensitive or too serious-”

“Because you are!” he yelled, stepping in close. “You act like everything I do is some personal attack when all I’m trying to do is keep us from going completely off the rails!”

You two were inches apart now, shouting over each other, breath sharp and furious, hands clenched at your sides. The apartment felt too small, the air too thick, the distance between you both nonexistent and yet impossibly vast.

“God, Minho, you don’t even see me—”

“And you don’t hear me! All you ever do is come for me!”

You stood there, chest to chest, the heat between you boiling hot and freezing cold all at once.

“I come at you like that because you never fight for me!” You shouted, voice shaking. “You just make jokes until I’m too tired to care anymore!”

Minho stared at you, breathing hard, eyes dark with frustration. “Maybe I don’t fight because I’m tired of being treated like I’m never fucking enough.”

You froze. “What?”

He stepped forward, voice rising. “Yeah, Y/n! I'm tired of being the punching bag every time you decide I’m not fucking good enough! Tired of pretending I don’t see that look on your face when I don’t say the perfect thing. You want me raw? Fine! Sometimes I wish you'd just shut the hell up and stop trying to fix me like I’m some broken fucking project you picked up to feel good about yourself!”

Your breath hitched, face crumpling, but Minho kept going. “Sometimes it feels like loving you is just waiting to get punished for it! You act like you’re some goddamn saint for sticking around, but all you do is hover and judge and fucking nag until I can't even hear myself think. You don’t want to understand me. You just want to fix me so you don’t have to deal with your own pathetic shit!”

The slap cracked through the room like lightning.

Minho’s head whipped to the side, the sting instant and unmistakable. He froze, stunned, one hand slowly lifting to his cheek. You were already backing away, shaking, tears running freely, your voice gutted and trembling. “Go to hell, Minho.”

You then turned and bolted down the hallway, each step louder than the last, before the bedroom door shook its frame. Minho stood there, motionless, jaw tight, the echo of your hand still ringing in the air.

You had slammed the bedroom door, but it didn’t make you feel better. Nothing did. Not the sound, not the distance, not the silence that swallowed everything after. Your hands were shaking. You stared at them like they didn’t belong to you, like maybe they belonged to someone stronger. The tears wouldn’t stop. They spilled hot and fast as you slid down the door, chest heaving like you couldn’t breathe right.

“Pathetic?” you whispered, voice hoarse. “Fucking pathetic?” You had given him everything. You tried. Every day, you tried. You listened, you waited, you stayed even when he pushed, even when he shut down. You stayed through the silence, through the sarcasm, through the ache of being with someone who couldn’t, or wouldn’t, let you in.

And still… still it wasn’t enough.

You buried your face in your hands and sobbed harder.

Minho hadn’t moved. The sting on his cheek barely registered anymore. The room was dead quiet, but his head was loud, words crashing around like debris. That look on your face. The sound of the slap. Your voice when you said it “Go to hell.”

He swallowed hard, throat dry. “Fuck…”

He hadn’t meant it. Or maybe he had. That was the worst part, he wasn’t sure. He’d been angry, cornered, and every word that flew out of his mouth was meant to wound. And god, had he succeeded.

His hands were still clenched at his sides, white-knuckled. He stared at the floor like it might give him answers, like it might undo what just happened if he stood still long enough.

You had never hit him before. You weren't like that. And he’d never pushed you that far. Until now.

Minho let out a breath, low and shaky, and leaned back against the counter like his knees might give out. You don’t come back from that kind of look, he thought. Not easily. Not without bleeding for it.

It had been hours. The kind of hours that dragged. No TV. No phone. Just the faint tick of the wall clock and the ache behind your dry eyes from crying too long.

The blanket had slipped down your shoulder, but you didn’t move. Your body felt heavy, like it had absorbed every word, every second of that fight and didn’t know how to carry any more.

Outside the window, the streetlights buzzed, casting pale shadows on the wall. It must’ve been close to 3 a.m. You hadn’t heard him. No footsteps, not a knock, not even the distant creak of floorboards. Maybe he’d gone to sleep. Maybe he’d left. Maybe he didn’t care.

Your heart burned again. You hated that you were still listening for him.

Minho sat in the hallway, the light from his phone long gone, screen black in his hand. He didn’t know what time it was anymore. His back ached from the floor. His legs had gone numb. But he hadn’t moved, not since he’d sat down outside your door an hour ago.

He thought you might come out. Maybe yell again. Maybe just glare at him like you wanted to set him on fire. He deserved that. But you hadn’t made a sound. No crying. No pacing. No nothing. That scared him more than anything.

He rested his head back against the wall and shut his eyes, just for a second.

And whispered into the dark, barely audible even to himself, “Fuck… what did I do?”

The morning light came in soft and grey, filtered through thin curtains and heavy clouds. It crept down the hallway, brushing against the hardwood like it didn’t want to wake the house. Minho woke to the soft morning light and the dull ache in his spine from sleeping against a wall. His mouth was dry. His legs stiff. But he didn’t move.

The door beside him was still shut. He looked at it as if he was waiting for it to breathe. He didn’t knock. Didn’t speak. He just sat there, back against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, head leaned gently to the side, listening for any sound from the other side.

Nothing.

The minutes crawled by. Then the hours. The world outside had started moving. Cars in the street, a dog barking down the road, someone slamming a dumpster lid, but here, everything stayed still. Closed.

Minho rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hands. His stomach growled. His brain throbbed under the weight of everything he’d said the night before.

“Sometimes it feels like loving you is just waiting to get punished for it.” He winced at the memory. He could still feel the sting of your palm on his face, the sharpness of your gasp when it landed. He’d deserved that. More, probably. But he didn’t leave. Even when his legs went numb again. Even when his throat begged for water and his body told him to get up, to shower, to move on.

He waited.

Because somewhere on the other side of that door, You were still there. And he didn’t want to miss the moment you weren't angry anymore, just hurt. The moment you might be willing to hear him, even if it wasn’t with words.

Minho sat there for what felt like forever. When he finally heard you stir, a faint rustle of sheets, the soft creak of floorboards, his breath caught.

You were awake.

So he waited… And waited… And waited…

Nothing.

The lock didn’t turn. The door didn’t move. You knew he was out here. And you were choosing to keep him out. Minho's stomach twisted. He stood slowly, limbs aching from staying curled up so long. His body felt like it belonged to someone else. Tight, wrong, heavy. He hovered for a second longer by the door, listening… hoping. Still nothing. So he turned away.

In the bathroom, the mirror was brutal. He looked like hell. Red-rimmed eyes. A fading handprint on his cheek. His shirt fully wrinkled from sleeping in it. He turned the shower on way too hot and stepped in before it could cool down, hoping the scald might burn the tension out of his shoulders. It didn’t.

He tried brushing his teeth. Couldn’t focus.

Tried making coffee. Left it untouched on the counter.

Tried scrolling his phone. Couldn’t even unlock it.

Every sound from down the hall made his head snap up. Every creak of the floor, every breeze against the door, Minho imagined it was you. Coming out. Saying something. Nothing. Until…

Click.

The unmistakable sound of the bedroom door unlocking. It was soft. Hesitant. But it rang through the apartment like a fire alarm. He froze. Then bolted. His feet hit the floor fast, slipping as he rounded the corner. The door was slightly ajar now. He didn’t even hesitate. He ran to it like you might change your mind and close it again.

When he reached the door, he didn’t hesitate this time. His hand hovered for only a second before he pushed it open. The room was dim. Curtains still drawn. The air heavy, thick with last night’s ghosts. A sheet draped over the lamp cast everything in a soft, amber hush, like the whole space was holding its breath.

And there you were. Sitting on the edge of the bed. Wrapped in the same blanket, legs folded under you, hands clutching the fabric like an anchor. Your face was blank. Too blank. Like the tears had already run their course, and now you were just... waiting. Not for him. Not exactly. Just for what he would do next.

Minho froze in the doorway, one hand still clutching the knob like it might hold him up. His throat tightened painfully, working around something sharp. “Hey.”

You didn't move. Didn't flinch. Didn't even blink.

He stepped inside like the ground might shatter under his feet. The door clicked shut behind him, soft but final. Still, silence. It stretched between you like a wire, pulled taut, humming with everything he hadn’t said.

He raked a trembling hand through his hair. “I didn’t sleep.” You said nothing.

“I sat outside your door all night.” He swallowed. “I know that doesn’t fix anything. I just… I didn’t know where else to go. I didn’t want to go anywhere else.”

Still no reaction. Your eyes on him, unreadable. He exhaled, shaky, words spilling from somewhere raw. “I said things I didn’t mean. And some of it- okay, yeah -some of it came from a place I don’t understand yet. I panicked. I got scared. But that doesn’t excuse any of it. Not with you...” He paused, breath catching.

“I was cruel. I twisted things. I made you feel small, and I hate that. I hate that I did that to you.”

You still didn’t speak. But something in your stare tightened, just slightly.

Minho’s voice cracked at the edges. “That’s not who I am. At least… I don’t want it to be. Especially not with you.”

Nothing. No words. No movement. Nothing from you. He stood there, hands clenched at his sides like he didn’t trust himself with them.

“You didn’t deserve any of it,” he whispered. “You never do.” He took a hesitant step forward. Like the space between you was holy ground he didn’t have the right to walk on.

“I’m not asking for forgiveness. I’m not even hoping for it. I just… I needed you to hear me. Even if you never say anything back.” The silence roared in his ears. Deafening.

“I’ll go if you want me to,” he added quietly. “If that’s what you need… I’ll leave.”

Still nothing. He nodded slowly, eyes burning. Already starting to turn.

Then you blinked. Once. And your voice, soft, broken, a thread unraveling, sliced through the quiet: “Why do you always do that?”

He stopped cold. Confusion flickering through the pain on his face. You stared at him, still blank, still wrapped in your silence, but your voice sharpened, a blade in the dark.

“Act like it’s your job to leave. Like you’re halfway out the door the second it gets hard.”

He looked at you like you’d just reached in and found the one part of him he couldn’t hide.

And you let the words hang there, daring him to deny it, daring him to prove them wrong.

Minho didn’t answer right away. The question settled over him like a weight he couldn’t shake.

“Why do you always do that?”

He stood frozen in the middle of the room, your words echoing louder than anything he’d said.

“Like it’s your job to leave.”“Like you’re halfway out the door the second it gets hard.”

He looked down, jaw clenched, chest rising and falling too fast. Because you were right. And there was no excuse he could give that wouldn’t sound like another exit strategy. His voice, when it came, was barely more than a breath. “Because it’s easier than being told to.”

Silence again. Not cruel, just... there. Solid. Unforgiving.

“I don’t know how to stay when I feel like I’ve already messed it up,” he said, softer now. “So I assume I’m not wanted. I tell myself it’s better if I leave before you ask me to.” He stepped closer. One foot, then the other, like the space between you was a chasm he was finally willing to cross. “But I want to stay. God y/n, I want to stay.”

Still, you didn’t move. You didn’t open up. You let him come closer, but not in. Not yet. He knelt in front of you, hands trembling slightly where they hovered near your knees but didn’t touch. His eyes searched your face, raw, pleading, full of unshed apologies. “I don’t want to be that person anymore. The one who runs. Who lashes out. Who breaks things and then calls it inevitable.”

You blinked again, but your expression still didn't soften.

“I know I don’t get to ask you for anything,” he whispered. “But I just… I’m here. I’m still here.”

Your hands clenched tighter around the blanket. You didn’t pull away. But you didn’t reach for him either. So he stayed there, kneeling next to you, his voice nearly gone.

“I’m sorry.”

The silence pressed in again, heavier now. Like a wall he couldn’t climb. Minho stayed there on his knees, eyes locked on yours, waiting for something, anything, and getting nothing. And that was what finally broke him.

His face crumpled. Not dramatic, not loud, just sudden and quiet and helpless. Like something inside him had finally snapped under the weight of everything he hadn’t said soon enough. His shoulders shook as the first sob slipped out, rough and involuntary. He dragged a hand across his face like he could hide it, like he could hold himself together for a little longer, but he couldn’t.

“I know,” he choked. “I know you don’t owe me anything. I know that.” More tears followed, harder now. His voice cracked under the pressure of it all. “You don’t have to say anything. I hurt you. I get it. I don’t get to ask you for comfort just because I’m falling apart now.”

He laughed, not because it was funny, but because it hurt too much not to. “I mean, look at me. Crying like this. Like I’m the one who needs saving.”

And for the first time, your expression shifted, just slightly.

Your eyes widened.

Your face softened.

You’d never seen him like this. Not Minho. Not the boy who always had something to say, always held his ground, always knew when to leave before the storm hit.

But now he was in the middle of it.

And he wasn’t running.

He ran both hands down his face, like he could scrub the guilt off his skin. His breath hitched. “I just, I don’t know what to do,” he said. “I don’t know how to fix this. I’d do anything. But maybe there’s nothing left to do. Maybe I ruined it. Maybe I ruined you.” His words tumbled out, messy and fast, cracked wide open.

He could barely get the words out through his sobs. “I should’ve known better. I should’ve been better. I wanted to be better. But I keep screwing it up, and you keep sitting there like I don’t even deserve your anger anymore, like you’re just… done. And I don’t blame you.”

He leaned forward a little, head bowed, forehead nearly brushing your knee. His voice dropped to a whisper, barely a thread:

“I’m sorry.”

Minho stayed there, trembling, his breath stuttering against the weight of everything he couldn’t take back. He didn’t look up. More like he couldn’t look up. He just kept crying, not loud, not pleading, just breaking in real time. A quiet, exhausted kind of grief that had no drama left in it. Only truth.

You watched him.

And something in you pulled tight. Not in anger this time. Not even fear.

Just… ache.

Because you’d never seen him like this.Not exposed like this. Not small. He’d always been sharp edges and quick exits, not this quiet wreck of a person, folded in on himself like he was afraid he’d disappear.

You didn’t move at first. Didn’t trust the part of you that wanted to, but your hand, without permission, twitched slightly, still tangled in the blanket. And then, slowly… carefully… it lifted. You didn’t say a word. Didn’t reach to pull him up. Didn’t forgive him. But you let your fingers settle gently into his hair. Barely there. Just enough for him to feel it. A touch. A tether. A whisper of something that hadn’t completely died.

Minho froze.

Then crumpled harder, shoulders shaking as he pressed his forehead to your knee like he couldn’t bear it, like that one, small mercy hurt more than anything else. Because it meant you hadn’t turned away. Not fully. Not yet. And that alone was enough to make him fall apart all over again.

You didn’t mean to speak. You hadn’t planned on it. But the words slipped out anyway, quiet and sharp, rough at the edges. “...What are you gonna do if I say I don’t know how to let you back in?”

Minho stilled.

Slowly, he lifted his head, tear-streaked and red-eyed, like he wasn’t sure he’d heard you right. But he had. Your hand dropped from his hair before he could lean into it, like you were punishing yourself for the comfort you’d given him. Like you couldn’t trust what your body wanted anymore.

You stared at him, your voice trembling, but steady enough to hurt. “Because I don’t. I don’t know how.”

He opened his mouth to answer, but you kept going, not loud, not cold, just… aching.

“I want to. Minho, I want to so bad I feel sick. But I’m scared. I’m angry. At you, at myself. For still caring. For hoping. For letting you sit out there all night like that instead of making you leave.” You swallowed hard, breath shaky.

“I hate that it still matters. That you still matter. After everything you said.”

Minho didn’t interrupt. He didn’t dare. You looked down at your hands, fists twisting in the blanket again like they needed something to hold or destroy.

“I didn’t sleep either,” you said, quieter now. “I just kept thinking about whether you'd actually come in. And what I’d do if you did.”

A pause.

Then, softer still, “I don’t know if I can trust you not to run again. And I don’t know if I can take being wrong about you twice.”

Minho looked up at you like you’d just cracked open the center of the earth. And he didn’t move. Didn’t rush to close the gap. Didn’t beg. He just sat there. His breath still uneven from crying, but he listened. Like maybe this time, he’d finally learned how. Then, finally, quietly, he spoke. “I don’t know how to fix this.”

His voice cracked around the words, like even saying them cost him something. “I don’t have some perfect answer. I don’t know what to say that’ll make you trust me again. I don’t even know if you should.” He looked up at you, and for once, there was no defense in his eyes. No mask. Just Minho, raw and wrecked and trying.

“But if there’s a way to fix it… I’ll find it. I’ll try. Every day. Even if you never look at me the same. Even if all I can do is sit outside your door again.” He reached out, slowly, and opened his hand between you. Not grabbing. Not demanding. Just offering.

You stared at it for a second. Then slipped your fingers into his. You felt his breath hitch, although just barely. When he leaned in, it wasn’t confident. It wasn’t smooth. It was careful. Soft.

He gave you all the room to turn away, but you didn’t. How could you? How could you when he looked at you like you were the last thing in the world that still made sense? Like he didn’t deserve to be this close, but couldn’t stay away any longer. How could you when some desperate, stubborn part of you still wanted to believe him, even now, even after everything? How could you when every centimetre of space between you was already breaking your heart? How could you when he touched you like a question he didn’t expect to be answered? How could you when you still remembered what it felt like to be safe in his arms?

He kissed you like he didn’t know if he had the right, like the moment might shatter if he breathed too loud. It was slow, trembling, nothing like before but somehow deeper, and when your lips met his, it wasn’t forgiveness, wasn’t certainty. It was need. Quiet and aching and real.

When you pulled back, your fingers were still tangled in his. Your voice barely made it out. “That doesn’t make this okay.”

Minho nodded. “I know.”

You sat there like that, forehead to forehead, the worst still between you, but not untouched. Not unspoken, and for now, that was enough.

It wasn’t forgiveness. It wasn’t healing.

But it was a beginning. And that had to count for something.

Howdy everyone! Im back after like 6 months lol. Sorry for disappearing like that 😀 life just got busy and stuff. BUT im back and ive been writing 😏 Hopefully ill post more than just 3 fics before dipping again but who knows LMAO. ANYWAYS i hope you guys enjoy this and if there are any mistakes please let me know! (i somewhat proofread this at 2am soooooo)

#skz fic #skz imagines #skz x reader #stray kids #stray kids imagines #lee know x reader #stray kids angst #lee know angst #skz angst #skz romance #stray kids romance #lee know romance #skz #skz scenarios #skz fluff #lee know fluff #lee know imagines #lee know

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frenchkisstheabyss · 1 day ago

Text

♡ ａｒｔｄｅｃｏ ♡

♡ Pairing: roommate!hyunjin x chubby!fem!reader

♡ Genre: smut/fluff

♡ Summary: You and Hyunjin are roommates, nothing more...and that's alright. At least that's what you tell yourselves. You've survived the last year by pretending you don't want each other, telling yourselves that the other's not interested. Your delusion's fully intact when Hyunjin catches you up late one night working on a project. He offers to help you research your subject, deepen your knowledge so to speak, but there's much more to it than that.

♡ Word Count: 4k-ish

♡ Warnings: playful teasing, use of an aphrodisiac, hyunjin can get a lil bossy, jealous hyunjin, making out, finger licking, nipple play, dry humping, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), pussy drunk hyunjin, things get very wet, fingering, clit play, low key body worship, a lil manhandling, unprotected sex, rough sex, marking, creampie, they're both quite needy, overstimulation, pet names (baby, sweetie, good girl, pretty girl).

♡ A/N: Hello my darlings. So this fic is a request that's a part of my 3.4k follower celebration which you can find on my page if you wanna put a request in! Thank you to @owlbeforsunrise for requesting this and for being so genuinely supportive of me with my writing. Love you so much xoxo

Procrastination. It’s your worst enemy. You had weeks to get this project done but it was always one thing or another and before you knew it the clock was counting down. Now it’s half past midnight and you’re stationed at your kitchen table, legs kicked up and a sketch pad in your lap.

The subjects of your current drawing are nestled in a medium sized wooden bowl, swirls of mahogany dancing in harmony with the collection of glistening pomegranates resting within. Pressing the button on the side of your headphones, you skip to the next song, humming along as it picks up, your colored pencil scratching away all the while.

Hyunjin thinks you’re cute like this. With your messy hair and mismatched pajamas. You’re running on the last bit of an iced Americano and feel like absolute death but to him you couldn’t be cuter. He knows that even from behind. It’s not nice for roommates to sneak up on each other but you and Hyunjin never quite got around to the whole “setting boundaries” thing.

Resting a hand on the back of your chair, Hyunjin leans over your shoulder, lifting one of your earphones to whisper, “Boo.”

You jump a bit but immediately still yourself, readjusting in your seat to play it off. “Boo yourself” you huff, refusing to look in his direction.

“Scared ya?” he asks, grinning at the defiant look on your face. He was mistaken when he thought you couldn’t get cuter. You’re much cuter when you’re mad.

You turn to him, lips tight, eyes narrowed, “Don’t you have something better to do? Drink cement? Chew glass?”

His smiling face hovers only an inch from yours, even less when he leans in closer, his gaze dancing over your features. Sometimes when Hyunjin looks at you it’s like being under a microscope. With him no glance is passive. Everything feels like it means something, like he’s studying you, and you can’t stand it. The heat behind those brown eyes is so casual, so effortless, that it’s intimidating in ways you could never bring yourself to admit. And now’s not the time for it.

You roll your eyes, snapping your attention back to your drawing. “Why are you up anyway?”

Hyunjin lingers a moment, a photographer taking one last shot of a precious thing, before making his way to the fridge. “I don’t know” he shrugs, an arm draped across the open door as he takes in his options, “Just couldn’t sleep I guess. Too much to worry about.”

You pause your music, jaw hung in shock, “Hwang Hyunjin? Worried? What about?”

He drops his shoulders, responding with a pained groan, “You know I hate when you call me that.”

“I know” you giggle, doing a little dance with your shoulders, “That’s why I call you that. So, what’s up? Come share with the class.”

Grabbing a bottle of soda, he flings the fridge door closed, and turns to face you, unamused. He contemplates telling you, you can almost see the idea floating around that head of his. He could tell you what he was thinking about. It’d only take a sentence to tell you how one of his best friends texted him earlier asking if you were single. It’d only take another to confess how jealous that left him, how he’s been spiraling ever since, but instead he pops the soda open, gulping down the fizzy drink and any possibilities of a confession right along with it.

“So, why are you drawing pomegranates?”

You click your tongue, lips curving into a smile, “Why are you deflecting?”

Hyunjin grabs for your sketch pad and you tighten your grip around the corner of the book but it’s no use, it’s already his. “Is this some new fruit fixation or…”

“It’s not a fruit fixation. It’s for one of my classes. Human Sexuality and the Arts” you say, twinkling your fingers to make it seem fancy.

Hyunjin raises an eyebrow, glancing over at the bowl of fruit and back to you. “And what does that have to do with human sexuality? Were people, you know?”

He does a light humping motion, your sketch pad propped up at his hip. You snatch it back, refusing to let him violate your art in such a way. “No. People weren’t fucking the pomegranates!” you shout, hitting him with the book, “The ancient Greeks thought that pomegranates were an aphrodisiac. They associate it with the goddess Aphrodite. Some people even say that the forbidden fruit in the Bible was a pomegranate, not an apple.”

You light up when you speak, you always do when it comes to your art, and Hyunjin can’t help but admire everything about it. The way your brain works, what it manages to create, is almost as beautiful as you are. Just almost.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” you ask, catching onto that starry eyed gaze.

Hyunjin shakes it off, switching modes like a classically trained actor. “Because you’re just so…” he trails off, thinking up the word, “Painfully nerdy.”

“Oh, fuck you!” you laugh, flipping him off, “Forgive me for doing my research.”

He blows you a kiss, making your heart flutter against your will. “Research, huh?” he asks, picking up a pomegranate. He juggles it in his hand, feeling the weight of it, “So you must’ve tried it then.”

“Tried what?”

“Pomegranates. You said they were an aphrodisiac. Ancient Greeks, goddesses, forbidden fruit, all that. How do you know it’s not bullshit?”

You chew at your inner lip, the tail of your pencil tapping away at the page, “I guess I don’t.”

“Then why don’t we try it?” he asks, presenting you with the fruit.

You stare at it for a moment, taking it in like it’s some alien thing. You look up at him, your temperature rising at his sudden closeness to you. You’d be a liar if you said you never wondered what it’d be like to have him standing over you like this, that handsome face staring back down at you, but in none of those fantasies was he holding groceries.

“And by ‘try it’ you mean what exactly?”

You watch as he heads over to the kitchen counter, grabbing a plate from one of the cabinets above before he slides a knife from the block near the sink. With a few swipes of glimmering steel, the pomegranate’s left in four perfect pieces. Placing the knife down, he picks one up, turning back to you. “Come here.”

“No…” you sigh, popping your headphones back on. You have a deadline to meet. There’s no time to spare for his nonsense.

“Come here” he repeats, his voice laced with a certain sweetness. The kind that makes you fold for him every time.

You toss your headphones onto the table, your art supplies following close behind as you rise from your seat, bare feet dragging across the cool tile floor. You grab a slice of pomegranate, raising it to your lips before an unexpected hesitation takes hold of you and you toss it away.

Hyunjin leans against the counter, vexed by your reaction, “What? You think I poisoned it?”

“No, it’s just…you first” you insist, hoping to distract him and yourself from the nerves bubbling up inside you.

“Me first?”

“Yes, you first. It was your idea so you eat it first.”

He clears his throat, standing up straight so that his tall figure seems even more impressive. Two steps bring him closer to you, his toes right on the edge of touching yours as he brings the fruit to his mouth. His plush rosy lips close around it, his dexterous tongue working the fleshy seeds free of the rind. Scarlet juice drips from the corners of his mouth, riding the sharp contour of his jaw to coat his chin. You’re drawn in by how delicately his mouth works against it. Something about it is so sensual, far more sensual than you’re sure he intends it to be.

Your body doesn’t care one way or another. Intent means nothing to your quickening pulse or to the warmth creeping its way to the lower half of your body. You don’t even notice you’re holding your breath until his mouth pulls away from the rind and you exhale like you’ve been underwater for an eternity.

“Now you’re the one staring at me like that” he laughs, disposing of the rind on the plate. “Something on my face?”

Instinctively you bring your fingers to his chin, wiping the juices away, “Actually, yes. Didn’t know you were such a messy eater.”

“I thought some girls liked that” he says, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You swallow hard, your hands trembling barely enough to notice. Only Hyunjin does. Taking you by the wrist, he presses your fingertips to his lips, your touch feather light. You still as his tongue darts out, its wet warmth tracing the shape of your fingers. His eyes never leave yours as he does it. He wants to see how you react, how you feel, and you don’t disappoint. Your legs are shaking, soft thighs rubbing together in shorts that leave nothing to the imagination. The friction is heavenly, soothing the throbbing between your legs and making it much much worse all at once.

“Is it working?” you ask, your voice cracking under the weight of a question you already know the answer to.

Hyunjin lets out a chuckle from somewhere deep within his throat, his breath skimming your palm as his lips chart a path along your arm. Every kiss is electric. The tingling left behind at each point of contact gives you goosebumps. Ghosting over the sleeve of your loose fitting tee, his lips find yours, cautiously waiting as near to them as they can be without touching. You’re two magnets, the attraction between you too intense to ignore. All that holds you back are yourselves, your very cells vibrating at the need for connection.

“Your turn” he whispers, breaking the spell to give you enough room to breathe. As if you ever could under the circumstances.

You reach over, picking a slice of pomegranate up, fragile as a bomb. This is silly, you think to yourself. Hyunjin’s right. It’s not like it’s poison. You dive in, clearing the rind in a hurry, and flashing Hyunjin a look that says, “What now?”

What now? Now is the force of his mouth colliding with yours, the sweet, tangy juices lingering on your tongue for only a second before his own tongue’s snaking between your lips to drink it down and you along with it. You tense at first. Not quite resisting. Not quite surrendering. But when his hands find your figure, palms riding the hills of your curves, you crumble.

A year of living together. A year of playful flirting. A year of words spoken and words not. All of it is poured into a kiss that could shatter worlds. Without question it shatters yours. You never imagined that Hyunjin’s feelings for you could be mutual but the hunger he kisses you with leaves nothing to be questioned.

“I think it’s working” he says, a breathless taunt against your lips.

You grab onto his shirt, your nails digging into the fabric as he grips the back of one of your pillowy thighs, raising your knee to rest at his side. “I hate you” you whimper when he presses into you, the growing bulge in his sweatpants teasing your core. There’s no denying how wet you are. The need soaking through the cotton of your panties is more than enough evidence of that.

It only worsens when he strays from the kiss, leaning into your neck to whisper, “You hate me?” His tone is playful with a hint of something darker. He’s daring you to lie when you both know the truth. “How much do you hate me? Enough to make me stop when I do this?” His fingers dig into the supple flesh of your ass, grinding you against him, and you tremble, your moans as light as your next breath.

“Or this?” Spinning you around, Hyunjin slams you back into the counter, his lips latching onto your neck to feel your pulse race beneath his tongue. He suckles harshly at the skin, the sharpness of his kiss balanced by the ecstasy of his clothed cock rubbing your clit.

This wasn’t the plan. When he stumbled into the kitchen, his eyes barely open, he expected to find a late night snack. What he found instead was you. Something he wanted infinitely more than anything this kitchen could offer. He can’t remember ever needing something so badly that it hurts. His cock straining against his pants is nothing short of torture. It aches for you and only you.

“Hyunjin, just…aaah” you whine, arching as he sneaks a hand under your shirt, touching your naked skin for the first time.

He massages your belly, your side, all the way up to your swollen breast that fits in his hand with the perfection of something made to be there. He captures your bud between his fingers, his pointer and index pinching it with just enough pressure to send more of those delicious moans pouring from you.

“Just…what, sweetie?” he asks, pulling back from your neck with a pop. His lips float back up to yours and that’s where they wait, eager for your next words.

You can barely form them when he’s throbbing against your drenched pussy, your panties and shorts too wet to make a bit of difference. His fingers tighten around your nipple, playing you like a finely tuned instrument, and you sing for him just the way he wants.

“Just…just…” you stutter, your hold on his shirt threatening to tear it, “Just fuck me already if you’re gonna do it.”

You’re both taken back by your directness, the shock doing away with whatever last bit of pretending that lived between you. Hyunjin kisses you again, the passion burning just as hot as the first time, grabbing you by the waist to guide you somewhere you can’t see.

Everything’s dark. The only light you see are the sparks twinkling behind your lids, the kiss pulling you in so that nothing else matters. It’s only when you feel the edge of the kitchen table press into your ass that you remember where you are.

“Clothes off” he demands, the hem of your shirt already knotted in his fists, “I wanna see you.”

Your shirt disappears and your immediate reaction is to bring your arms around yourself, shielding yourself from his sight, but Hyunjin peels them away, the awe in his expression quieting your fears. “Oh god, you’re so beautiful” he gasps, slipping your shorts down to reveal your figure in its full glory.

Your panties come down with them, discarded at your feet, leaving you exposed. Hyunjin lifts you onto the table, a hand coasting along your inner thigh to spread your legs open. His gaze falls below your waist and he’s instantly mesmerized by the slickness of your gorgeous pussy.

He runs his fingers through your folds, coating them in your arousal, watching your stiff clit twitch from the faintest touch. “Didn’t know you’d be this wet for me. Look at you…” He strokes your entrance, spreading you open and the way you leak onto the table makes his mouth water. “Is this an aphrodisiac too?”

Even in a haze of pleasure, you manage the most adorable giggle, “I don’t know. My books didn’t say anything about that.”

“Let’s find out then, hmm?” Hyunjin doesn’t wait for your response. He dives right in, dropping to his knees, a devoted lover eager to worship his goddess.

Your palms smack down on the table, your arms propped up on either side in a desperate attempt to keep yourself upright but it’s no use. Hyunjin’s tongue’s buried too deep within your walls, curling and flicking as he messily slurps down your essence. Your arms are slipping out from under you. The quaking of your body’s too much to control.

Hyunjin slides his hands up to your lower back, cradling you as your back meets the surface below. You shake, maybe from the chill—maybe from his nose bumping your clit, your pussy clenching around his tongue each time.

“Mmm, tastes so good…” he groans, pulling you closer so that your ass dangles right on the edge of the table, “Can’t stop, fuck, I can’t…”

The slurping noises are borderline obscene, his mouth spread open to taste every part of you. The tip of his tongue swirls through your smooth, velvety folds, teasing your entrance with the slightest stretch before drawing figure eights up to your clit.

It makes every bit of sense in the world now how he got that pomegranate down so quickly. His tongue moves with expert precision, knowing just what to do to achieve exactly what he wants and right now what he wants is for you to keep moaning. Keep trembling. Keep raising your hips to meet the heat of his mouth, riding every wave of pleasure and oh so needy for the next.

“Jinnie…” you moan, his short hair tickling your palm as you pet the back of his head.

“Jinnie?” he laughs, applying kitten licks to your pussy between every word spoken, “You only call me that when you want something. You want something, baby?”

“Mmhmm” you nod, still raising your hips for more.

And Hyunjin gives it to you, sinking two fingers into your warmth and seeking out the sweet spot previously discovered by his tongue. The sound you make when he finally hits it is like music to his ears, his cock throbbing from how desperately it wishes it were the one responsible for it.

Hyunjin’s fingers pick up speed, coaxing out a stream of broken moans, “Tell me what you want from Jinnie. Anything for you.” He spreads his fingers wide, stretching you open as his lips latch onto your clit once more.

“Mmm, so close, wanna come for you…” you confess, making the terrible mistake of glancing between your legs.

Hyunjin’s eyes await yours, the lust behind them worsening the pressure building within you. “Then do it. Come for me. Let me taste you” he urges, his fingers abandoning you to let his tongue fill the space.

Your head falls back, your lush breasts jutting out with every rise and fall of your chest. You hook your legs around his shoulders and he grabs onto your thighs, keeping you right where you are. Squirming, whining, begging him not to stop as your orgasm tears through you leaving you speechless.

All you can do is lay there, completely at his mercy, gushing down his chin and helpless to stop his pursuit of more. The taste of you is addictive, so addictive that he can’t pry himself away. Not even when you attempt to twist yourself free, weakly pushing his head back. He’s not done until he says he is. Not until he’s lapped up every last drop.

“You’re trying to kill me” you pout, managing to turn onto your side.

Hyunjin tilts his head, keeping his mouth on you, refusing to give up those last few licks. When he finally drags himself away from you, his chest is heaving, and a haze of bliss hangs over him. The same one that hangs over you, weighing you down to the table.

You couldn’t get up if you wanted to and Hyunjin won’t give you the chance. Grabbing you by the waist, he flips you onto your stomach, the impact sending your nearby art supplies tumbling to the floor.

“I’m not trying to kill you, pretty girl” he grins, tugging his shirt over his head, “Not yet.”

It’s a subconscious thing, poking your ass up at him like you are. You don’t mean to drive him crazy but you do and he can’t finish stripping down fast enough, breathing a sigh of relief when his cock springs free from his boxers. He rubs the head against your entrance and your walls are already fluttering, wanting nothing more than to suck him in.

There’s a twinge in his chest, at the sight of you stretching around him as he presses into you, and he can’t go any further. Everything’s been happening so fast that it’s just hitting him that this is all real. This is happening.

Propping yourself up on your elbows, you turn to look back at him, your expression heavy with concern. “We don’t have to if you don’t…”

Hyunjin’s quick to cut you off, “No! I want to! It’s just…I’ve wanted you for so long and I never thought that I could have you.”

You smile, warm and comforting, “Well you can have me. I’m all yours. You just have to take me. Take me, Jinnie.”

Nothing else needs to be said for him to thrust into you, your heads spinning from the euphoria of your bodies finally meeting. “Aah, fuck, you’re so tight baby” he hisses, slowly rocking in and out of you. He can feel you adjusting to his size, your walls reveling in his thickness as his tip kisses your cervix only to tighten right back up when he dares to pull out a little too far.

He runs a hand along your back, tracing the curve of your spine with his fingertips. You shouldn’t be this beautiful. You shouldn’t take him this well. It’s not fair what you do to him. How hard you make his cock pulse, your pussy already leaving him drenched down to the base.

And you’re faring no better. Your senses are dominated by the sensation of every thrust, his tip beating against your g-spot with every thrust. It’s the kind of pleasure you can feel tingling your toes and ghosting your fingertips. You can taste it on your tongue. It vibrates in every fiber of your being.

Hyunjin’s hips snap into you harder, the moisture between you sending a lewd slapping sound pinging off the walls of the kitchen. It makes your body jiggle, your ass bouncing back onto him, and he feels so completely enveloped by you that he has to do it again. And again, harsher, faster, his hold on your hips unyielding, dominating your every move.

The banging of the kitchen table against the wall is more than enough for a noise complaint but your moans? You’re crying out like no one can hear you—every fractured syllable of his name bleeding through the walls into the apartment next door—but it’s nothing you can control. Nothing you want to control.

Hyunjin dips an arm under you, two fingers caressing your clit, and the muscles in your body pull tight, your eyes beginning to water from the overstimulation. You think you might cry if he keeps going but you know you’ll cry if he stops. You’ll throw a tantrum, kicking and screaming, because this is all you want in the world. He has to keep going. Keep pushing you further and further beyond your limits.

“Aah! Oh fuck!” you scream, grabbing onto the edge of the table, nails scraping the wood. Your hips stutter, unable to keep their rhythm, and Hyunjin knows you’re close again.

Leaning forward, he decorates your back with kisses, uttering praises that chip away at your resolve. “Come again for me, my beautiful girl. No holding back. Let go for me.”

Just like that you feel light, like your body holds no weight at all. Everything’s soft and fluffy, the most gentle it’s ever been, then all at once you feel all of it. The intensity’s beyond anything that was building before and you’re coming down your thighs, drenching the fingers that frantically work your clit.

“That’s it. Good girl” he coos, the knots in the pit of his own stomach tightening, ready to come undone. “You want me to pull out?”

He leans away but you reach behind you, grabbing him by the arm, “No…inside me.”

Hyunjin takes you by both hands, interlocking his fingers with yours, and fucks iyou into the table, your pussy clinging to him, swallowing him in so far that he fears he might lose himself in you. If he bites down on his lip any harder he’ll break skin. Not that he could even notice. He’s too busy unraveling between your walls, thick ropes of cum painting you with their creamy white warmth.

There’s no telling how much time passes before he stops moving. Seconds? Minutes? Hours? But you’re both left trembling, your sweat slicked bodies still connected as you drift back down to earth, basking in the afterglow.

You let out a squeak when he finally slips out of you, rolling onto your back to get more comfortable. Hyunjin positions himself between your legs, his arms caging you in on both sides as he leans in to plant a kiss on your lips. The taste of pomegranate has faded and now he tastes only of a flavor that’s distinctly you.

“See, I told you research was important” he gloats, his length teasing the sensitivity of your pussy.

You shiver, cupping his face as you arch into him, “I mean, I guess but don’t get any more ideas. I still have a project due you know.”

Hyunjin cuts his eyes at the sketch pad scattered on the floor amidst a sea of colored pencils. “One second.”

He slips off of you and you sit up, crossing your legs, a silent observer as he carefully gathers your things for you. He hands them over with a pleased look on his face. “I can come to your room….help you finish.”

You clutch your items close to your chest, not at all ignorant to the way his thumbs are stroking your thighs. “Help me finish in what way exactly?

“Mmm…” he hums, the pad of his thumb just barely touching your clit, “You’ll just have to trust me.”

“Trust you?” you laugh, hopping down from the table, “We’ll see about that.” You give him a peck on the lips, depriving him of something deeper. A small form of torture done fully on purpose. “Follow me. Oh and bring the plate just in case we have to do more, uh, research.”

Time seems to move in slow motion for Hyunjin as you walk off towards your room, your naked body breathtaking even in the shadows of the dimly lit hall. Backing up, he blindly retrieves the plate from the counter, his fingers skimming the fruit as he does so.

“God bless the Greeks” he utters under his breath, his brain already running rampant with all the filthy things he wants to do to you tonight. He’s definitely gonna need more fruit.

#hyunjin x female reader #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin smut #hyunjin x you #stray kids x reader #stray kids x female reader #stray kids smut #stray kids x you #stray kids x chubby reader #chubby reader #plus size reader

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